unlucky me

I like a guy, he liked me back in high school but genuinely my childhood was so bad I had no room to think or have the capacity to date. And he switched to Aussie now calls most of the time and tries to get me there. But I can't go now because things have taken a rough turn with my family situation; financially. I can only sum it all up to them not giving any shits about me. I'm so insecure and sad to introduce my family to anyone. They are separated and broke now- good for them but when one of them gets sick I have to travel across the country to take care of them. I can't be there for emergencies(that's happened 4-5 times with dad so far) I love my parents but at the same time I hate them. I have empathized with them infinite times.
I genuinely feel like I could be treated better instead of getting abused and crushed by my family, to be honest. I want to look forward to a better future but the circumstances now makes me so sad. I don't want to let him know about these circumstances because we used to do so well before covid, and... I don't want to talk shit about my family with him either... because he's someone who's had a loving family and I don't want to put my family down in front of him. So I'm just making excuses nonstop when he asks. I want to be happy and now that I've finally healed enough to allow myself to open up to dating, I got these challenges. I'm not used to asking for help or talking about these things with anyone either.. I don't know how to improve my family's situation and I don't like that it's automatically become MY responsibility to deal with the consequences of their stupidity. I finally heal myself enough to receive love and affection but I can't say yes to a guy when the feelings are mutual.

I sure hope I'm being protected from something and hopefully, I can be free from all these burdens soon.

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window Home June 04, 2026 at 10:21 am 0 1