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The Elderly Woman

The Elderly Woman

There's this elderly woman in her 90s I know through some friends. She's no children, but treated a nephew like a son, cooking him his favorite meals, bragging on his every accomplishment, nice gifts, etc. She also was caregiver to her own mother that lived with her for about 30 years until she died almost 20 years ago. Even though her mother was housebound & then eventually bedridden, she took the most immaculate care of her which is why she lived to well into her 90s even with a host of health related issues.

Now everyone, for sure including the elderly woman herself, probably figured when came time for her not to be living alone the nephew would take her into his nice home whose size would make her addition to the household no problem at all since only he and his wife now live in the nice home.

Wrong! The nephew dumped her in a third rate nursing home where she is now a shadow of her once immaculately groomed, neat and tidy self. So much so I did not even recognize her when I went to visit; walked right by her and had to get one of the staff to point her out. She's wearing ill fitting nasty clothes that look like the rejects from Goodwill they throw out instead of putting on the selling floor. And it gets even worse.

Some other friends I know went together to visit her and found her laying in bed soaked in her own urine. Staff said that does not usually happen, but I suspect that's a lie because the place is understaffed. The friends got staff to clean her up and asked had she eaten for the day which they said yes, but after seeing how they didn't make sure she was keeping dry by wearing something like Depends they decided to take her to the cafeteria, making sure to order something that would be soft and easy for an elderly person to eat. When she got the plate of food in front of her she ate everything on it like she was starving. So the friends confronted staff again, and the story changed to she was served lunch but it was not eaten when they came back to collect the trays. Meaning staff doesn't give a shit if the people are getting their meals or not, or even if the meals are appropriate for the individual in the first place. I don't think the old lady is going to last much longer in there.

But her situation has given me pause because our lives have taken almost the exact same path; childless women who took the most immaculate care of our parent when their health failed. So if I am destined to wind up in such a horrible situation like her, I might want to reconsider how to use the old age retirement money socked away. Maybe before some serious health issues arise, I should give up the thrifty abnegation life and spend it while I can still enjoy it. Then settle in Oregon to live off social security until I think its time to make a dignified exit.

anonymous Other June 04, 2023 at 2:38 pm 0
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4 Rant Comments
Bet that Nephew has control of his Auntie's money. Spinster women like that usually do have a little money. A low rent nursing home like that is not going to keep up with the proper protocol of changing patients which is at least 2-3 hours for urinary incontinence but ASAP when they have soiled themselves. One, adult diapers are expensive. Two, they don't hire enough people keep on top of this. But the Nephew who's likely in charge of her finances could at least use her money to buy her some extras to supplement the stingy nursing home ration to help her situation. Old people are a very venerable group.
anonymous 1 year ago
try the new vacuum super suction dbl rinse never change tidy wipey combination no key locking diapers with cute poopy peepy tunes built in.
minnie golf 1 year ago
YOLO that retirement & then check out when you like op unless you want that woman's nightmare to be your reality. Some no good fuckers broke my aunt's arm when they dropped her in one of these hell holes. Never healed right because of the crappy care and she was not able to use that arm again.
anonymous 1 year ago
OP here, nursing home has listed recent death as refusal to eat. She had no other life threatening medical issues. So basically she starved to death from being given inappropriate meals because she was happy to eat everything on her plate when the two friends visited and took her to the cafeteria and made sure everything was easy for her to eat. Nephew's not blameless here, because he should have come by every evening to check if she was hungry like she always did make sure he was eating well. I know several men who had parents in a home that came by everyday with a favorite food to make sure their parents were not hungry. They lasted longer than this lady (less than a year) and they had serious health issues.
anonymous 1 year ago
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