The Elderly Woman

There's this elderly woman in her 90s I know through some friends. She's no children, but treated a nephew like a son, cooking him his favorite meals, bragging on his every accomplishment, nice gifts, etc. She also was caregiver to her own mother that lived with her for about 30 years until she died almost 20 years ago. Even though her mother was housebound & then eventually bedridden, she took the most immaculate care of her which is why she lived to well into her 90s even with a host of health related issues.

Now everyone, for sure including the elderly woman herself, probably figured when came time for her not to be living alone the nephew would take her into his nice home whose size would make her addition to the household no problem at all since only he and his wife now live in the nice home.

Wrong! The nephew dumped her in a third rate nursing home where she is now a shadow of her once immaculately groomed, neat and tidy self. So much so I did not even recognize her when I went to visit; walked right by her and had to get one of the staff to point her out. She's wearing ill fitting nasty clothes that look like the rejects from Goodwill they throw out instead of putting on the selling floor. And it gets even worse.

Some other friends I know went together to visit her and found her laying in bed soaked in her own urine. Staff said that does not usually happen, but I suspect that's a lie because the place is understaffed. The friends got staff to clean her up and asked had she eaten for the day which they said yes, but after seeing how they didn't make sure she was keeping dry by wearing something like Depends they decided to take her to the cafeteria, making sure to order something that would be soft and easy for an elderly person to eat. When she got the plate of food in front of her she ate everything on it like she was starving. So the friends confronted staff again, and the story changed to she was served lunch but it was not eaten when they came back to collect the trays. Meaning staff doesn't give a shit if the people are getting their meals or not, or even if the meals are appropriate for the individual in the first place. I don't think the old lady is going to last much longer in there.

But her situation has given me pause because our lives have taken almost the exact same path; childless women who took the most immaculate care of our parent when their health failed. So if I am destined to wind up in such a horrible situation like her, I might want to reconsider how to use the old age retirement money socked away. Maybe before some serious health issues arise, I should give up the thrifty abnegation life and spend it while I can still enjoy it. Then settle in Oregon to live off social security until I think its time to make a dignified exit.

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anonymous Other June 04, 2023 at 2:38 pm 0 2