Sometimes

Just sometimes I am so enraged by my mother I genuinely feel the urge to stab her multiple times until she dies. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think anyone has the right to take the life of another person, hence why I am writing about it here instead of actually doing it, but it doesn’t help that I am sitting here with such passionate rage yet unable to do anything about it that I am about to cry. You know those cases in the news where someone murders their rapist or something like that? I think that’s how I feel right now, sometimes it’s just so bad you brain only wants you to do something violent, even if you know that won’t solve the problem, and even if you know that should never be the option. I sometimes hate myself for being such a weakling, but I cannot imagine how much difficult times someone would have to sit through to not have any reaction to all the things she does and says. Sometimes people tell me how they are struggling with things and I cannot bring myself to say anything nice to comfort them because in my mind, those are just the norms, and I hate how that might have hurt the feelings of others because I think if I had validated their struggles ab it more they might’ve felt better about what they went through. Anyhow, I think I’ve calmed down enough to be trusted near a knife again, so I will stop here.

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anonymous Home November 06, 2024 at 9:58 pm 0 0