Short skinny friends

I fucking hate having short friends. I’m 178cm which where I’m originally from isn’t really tall, it’s normal for a girl, but I now live in Germany. And I only have friends who are shorter than 163cm. Even if they are thicker than me they still look so much skinnier, I feel disgusting next to them. I feel like a fat fucking giant even while just sitting next to them, no matter how much skinnier I am get will always feel fat and massive. My back is much bigger, my hips, my thighs, my fucking stomach. And I’m not really fat, I’m healthy now. I used to be kinda skinny, I was 59kg last year after starving myself all the time. But now I’m fucking 70kg. And no it isn’t really noticeable as much, I look normal. But when I put on my bikini I don’t see normal, I only the see difference I have from the body I used to have. And I love my friends I really do, but I hate myself anytime I’m with them. They wanna go swimming in 2 days and I can’t, I can’t go. I tried putting on my bikini and it just ended in a whole panic attack with me on the bathroom floor ready to relapse. I know I’m healthy now, but is it worth being healthy if MY „healthy“ looks fat next to their healthy?

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anonymous Body June 29, 2025 at 2:20 pm 1 1