Shit my retard dad told me

Real shit. Not like that sitcom that sucked ass with William Shatner. These are things my stupid ass dad told me. He hated me and never wanted me to succeed or have anything in this life, so I have no idea how much of this was just him wanting to cause trouble for me. Here goes.

He told me to bring guns and knives with me to college. Not dorm, I wasn't a spoiled ****. No. To bring that shit with me to community college when I'd go, like I'd have become John Rambo and would have stopped some potential shooter.

Told me to go out with this girl as a teenager who I didn't even like, to make the girl I did like jealous. Just a shitty thing to do, especially for a parent to tell their kid to do. I never did.

When I was on a large dosed steroid after being released from the hospital, he told me "you're your own boss" and that I could stop taking it. I was supposed to take the shit for like two months which is what I did. It would have fucked up a lot had I not followed doctors orders.

This aside, my dad was just a retarded fuckwit. He believed in aliens, vampires, and random bogeymen. He thought Obama was going to hit the big red button in 2016 and stay president forever. He believed that Elvis is alive, along with all kinds of other retarded shit that he'd hear and believe without thinking about.

How I came out of his cock and turned out opposite is a good thing.

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anonymous Funny July 03, 2026 at 11:20 am 0 0