Hello no one,
Here's my random journal entry I'm shooting into the void. I failed to submit something in time (joining the pile of late work) and now I'm faced with the familiar path of disappointment and failure. When did these stones become well worn? Is it because I choose comfort over change? Possibly. I always choose comfort, and then I'll be shocked I'm lazy, fat, stupid, and uninteresting. That's the path gluttonous comfort often leads to. What do I even expect of myself? It's hard to work if you don't know what you're working towards. Who the fuck even am I? Have I bothered to listen? No, I've shoveled content into every fucking orifice I have lest a goddamn thought of my own enters. I started this off being really sad, but now I'm mad at myself. How dare you feel like woe is me when you have MADE that bed to lie in. You should feel bad about yourself because you're not a good human right now. You're a pile of fucking goop that does nothing except contribute to the ice cream sales. Sure cry, whatever, but get up after. If you don't like yourself you can fucking change idiot.
NoSchool March 31, 2025 at 1:31 pm00
Acknowledging faults is the first step to change; so your already on the path. See what your doing wrong, and stop doing that. I've suffered from the same thing, although not with laziness. You dig yourself into a deep pit where you hate what your doing but don't want to stop, because hell, it feels nice in the moment to just not worry, but then after you just feel like total shit.
You CAN stop. It will take time, you won't change overnight, you don't improve drastically, it may take years to see even a bit of improvement. That's the way it works. Let it take years, thats better than not moving at all.
Just remember one thing: No matter how hard you fuck up, until you die you can fix it. It may not be a Ctrl + z easy fix solution, but it will fix. You can stop.
And not only that, your not alone. I go through the same thing, and I know others do to. You aren't the first, you won't be the last, but you can be one of those who overcomes themselves.
Even just knowing you want to change, you should be proud of yourself. If you honestly try to improve your already improving. At least this time you didn't submit t yourself, you fought, even if you lost. Ruination 1 day ago
1 Rant Comment
You CAN stop. It will take time, you won't change overnight, you don't improve drastically, it may take years to see even a bit of improvement. That's the way it works. Let it take years, thats better than not moving at all.
Just remember one thing: No matter how hard you fuck up, until you die you can fix it. It may not be a Ctrl + z easy fix solution, but it will fix. You can stop.
And not only that, your not alone. I go through the same thing, and I know others do to. You aren't the first, you won't be the last, but you can be one of those who overcomes themselves.
Even just knowing you want to change, you should be proud of yourself. If you honestly try to improve your already improving. At least this time you didn't submit t yourself, you fought, even if you lost.
Ruination 1 day ago