Ned's Declassified

I have this strange affinity for things revolving Ned's Declassified lately, and I don't get it.

For those who aren't familiar. Ned's Declassifed was a B-tier show that came on Nickelodeon around the mid 2000s. It was never has big as the other shows, was never really intended to be. It was an alright series, the kind of thing you'd usually just watch while waiting for something better to be on.

The show was like a human cartoon. Supposedly giving "survival tips" (common sense) for navigating middle school. I was poor white trash in the middle of nowhere. I never fucking went to school growing up, I was homeschooled. And this fantasy show with California kids was just something I watched occasionally, in passing.

It's mostly something that people around my age range remember. It hasn't really transcended generations like Drake and Josh, and other shows from around the same time. Not only has the human cartoon style of series become kind of a pain to watch (sort of was even when it was new) the cast of this show turned out to be a bunch of assholes and that caused a lot of damage to the brand. They do a podcast where they all act retarded, and it has basically obliterated their stagnated careers and killed the illusion that these might have been fun people to be around, or that this show was in any way wholesome.

The guy who played Ned seems like a wormy little fuck, the girl from the show talks about all kinds of inappropriate shit and pesters guest about sexual shit, the guy who played Cookie always seemed more well rounded but guess what? He seems like an asshole too.

These people boast about shit from 23 years ago like it just happened. Very much about cliques. Very much about bragging about the drugs and smut that went on behind the scenes. They basically seem like the types who are deemed "good" in the eyes of adults who had no idea what was going on. No horrors behind the scenes. Just a bunch of spoiled assholes who created their own problems, peaked at a young age, and can't accept that jarring reality or attempt to mature in any possible way.

And this is where my confusion sets in. I didn't have a childhood. My life was horrible in those days. I used to escape to Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, and even though the shows were fake and mostly horrible and I would feel bad while watching them, I would still fucking watch them anyway. This crap was the closest I got to have to socializing or friends at that time.

Now, my life has changed a lot. I'm a late bloomer around the same age as the Ned's Declassified cast, who in spite of everything hasn't done any of the drugs or retarded shit that they have. I am just now starting to actually explore going to places, and am trying to navigate relationships, and all of the shit I was deprived of for so long. Total opposite of these spoiled brats.

They had everything I didn't. THEY should be the ones doing okay and living a quiet life, and I should be the one pretending it's still 2005 while downing booze and shit. Yet it seems to be skewed the other way.

One of the cast members, some secondary character is now homeless and has been tabloid fodder for a couple of months now. Basically, he's in California and is acting batshit retarded. The guy who played Cookie got this person a hotel room (to make himself look good) and the retard homeless guy threw the hotel's microwave into the tub and ran out. The guy's parents were pissed that this former acquaintance from 20 something years ago did this, when the retard's own fucking family can't even get through to him, and I don't disagree with their grievance. I'm of the mind that this retard homeless fuck can run around and be down syndrome ultra retard all he wants, let him be his own burden. No one owes him shit.

It's just like everything should be the opposite of how it is. Why are these people this immature and fucked up?

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Ned Bigby Other February 21, 2026 at 9:06 pm 0 0