Hi I’m a college student so if you’re younger than me, I may be seeing this in a completely different way.

I think it’s actually really serious that this guy tried to pull your pants down. It’s also another huge thing that everyone laughed along with it. It’s not funny at all. Personally, in my first year of college, a classmate of mine asked me to get lunch with him and I agreed because we were cool with each other in class. At the literal restaurant we were at, he kept sticking his hand under my shirt and snapping my bra (from the back where you hook it, not the front) and when I would fix it, he would try to pull my skirt up (it was long and up to my knees tho). I was PISSED, I yelled at him, and left (literally walked into a neighborhood and got an Uber in front of someone’s house). I was angry, but it wasn’t until I spoke to my friend about it the next day that I was able to process what happened and even my friend was like “hey doesn’t that count as like… being molested or at least sexually harassed?” I was trembling with anger after that. I told my professor about what happened and requested that if I move my seat, could they please make sure that guy isn’t allowed near me and she easily complied. My professor was diligent in telling him to just stay where he normally sat anytime he tried to move closer to me. I also had to tell my professor in my next class about him because the guy kept trying to follow me into the next class and my other professor would kick him out as soon as he saw him.
I refused to speak to him, listen to him, and even look at him.

I guess what I’m trying to show you through example is that you need to draw very clear boundaries. If you tell him to stop and he doesn’t, what are the consequences? If you say don’t do that or else, you need to actually follow up with what you said. People in general will not take you seriously if they know you won’t actually do anything no matter how many times you do something. There’s no consequences to crossing your boundaries or pissing you off.

I’m not telling you to punch the guy (although if you did, I would say you gave him a fair warning and no guy should be touching your pants like that in first place), but you show people you’re serious about your boundaries by legitimately cutting them off. Stop talking to them.

You say you don’t want to start any drama (because it’s clear you want to avoid conflict), but at what cost? Be fucking for real with yourself. You want to avoid drama, but it comes at the cost some guy thinking he can do whatever he wants to you like embarrass you like that. NO! Do not let him get away with that.

At this point, it’s not about avoiding conflict / drama, it’s about standing on business. You said stop, you said you don’t like that shit, and they didn’t listen so now you’re gonna do what you have to do even if that means giving them some proper & well deserved punishment ends up upsetting them.

They didn’t care when you were upset. They laughed. That shit isn’t funny. The next and what should be your last time speaking to this guy is letting him now FIRMLY that he’s not allowed into your life anymore.
(Example: “I fucking told you to stop and you didn’t. You fucking tried to pull my pants down. Who are you? My fucking boyfriend? Even then who told that shit is okay? Your mom? Your mom told you go pull people’s pants down? You’re fucking disgusting. Don’t look speak to me, don’t look at me, and don’t fucking bother me.” Idk that something I would say to someone who fucking did something disrespect like that to me)
And even then, if you just cut him off without saying a word, it’s justified. You don’t technically owe him an explanation after the disrespect he (and technically everyone) showed you.

Forget avoiding drama. This is serious. You need to draw some very clear and firm boundaries. That’s not funny at all and if I were you, I’d be questioning everyone who laughed to. To me, that doesn’t sound like actual friends.

When I was in high school, I literally dropped my ENTIRE first group of friends because they were all toxic as fuck. I had one single (new) friend I made in a different class around the same time I dropped everyone and I just hung out with him. He eventually introduced me to his group of friends and they began my new friends as well.
Don’t be afraid to “start drama” if it means you’re just doing what’s right for you and being firm with whatever boundaries you have. You gotta have your own back and do what’s gonna be best & most healthy for you.
I’ve literally been there when I was younger and I stand on my advice because I’ve actually done it and never regretted it before.
That new friend I made after dropping everyone is literally the only person who I still speak to since we went off to different colleges in different cities. Like he’s my real true friend and he holds me to that same degree where he says out of everyone he knows in general, I’m his best friend through and through.

Do what’s best for you, please please PLEASE never let anyone cross your boundaries again, stand on business and refuse anyone access to you if they try to push your buttons / boundaries like that, and remember that the reality is that people won’t take you seriously if they know you won’t do anything when they push your boundaries like that. Don’t let people do that.

Anyway this is long as hell lol sorry. Have a good one. I wish you the best.

---

anonymous 4 hours ago