Love isn’t real

I had a boyfriend for six months. We had been flirting and what not for a year all together, only got together for half of that year. He said he loved me for like six months straight. He told me he would marry me. He listened to my stories about my life, made my life significantly better. And then he fucking left me. He just woke up and went “I don’t see this going anywhere” after promising to stay. After reassuring me all those times. He knows about my pain and suffering and he still just fucking left one random day. I hate him. I hate how he left me unguarded. I hate how he almost made me believe I was worth loving. I hate how he made me feel so worthy of it all and then snatched it away from me. I hate how he probably will never realise how big of a betrayal leaving me really was. I almost ended my life last night. Because really. My life is shit. Born into an NICU, barely survived only to be fucking tormented by racist teachers for five years in primary school. Then my father became abusive for about three years and I dated this boy who basically raped me. Then I met my current ex who made things a bit better, someone who seemed to really care and want to stay with me for the long run. Nope. What was supposed to be the beginning of my healing turned out to be the beginning of a fucking endless spiral into hate and pain like I didn’t know before. What’s worse than being abused by someone who hates you? Being abandoned by someone who loves you. It was unexpected and I hate him. I hate myself. I want to die.

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anonymous Relationships September 07, 2025 at 10:08 am 0 0