Internalized

The first time I realized my differences was in the third grade. Despite never having been told I understood that my classmates would not be willing to accept me if I told them what type of person I was. I met people who were Lgbt, not like me but even they were disliked or considered weird by most. Many times even by their own. I think most of my loved ones would try for me. I believe they care enough to try. I think they'd deny it a lot or find some way to belittle me, but I would get it. I still don't want to be the way I am. I want to be considered 'normal'. I know one of my siblings in particular would hate me, I understand I am nothing and would be less than nothing by coming out. I don't want to hide forever, sometimes someone will ask and I always try to change the topic. I doubt these things will ever go away. What if I find someone I love and who loves me, will I turn away? Would I because of this place? I can't move yet. Even if I did I fear these thoughts have been too deeply ingrained in me I couldn't help but feel shame. I am a shamed. I'm sorry

---

anonymous Home June 22, 2026 at 11:21 pm 0 1