im just upset

DIshes keep piling up, im running out of food in the freezer, ran out of money a while ago, bad decisions keep dragging each other, my feet are cold and they keep getting colder, my house feels like a pig stye, my laundry smells abysmal, i am so upset about everything. i don't want to do anything at all. i want the world to stop while i get my shit together. the days are passing me by. i don't want to do anything or go anywhere but i know this doing nothing is making me more miserable. i am extremely alone and feeling lonely. I know the lack of money is doing this.the anxiety from the future is paralyzing me. i am afraid that once i start moving forward it won't go the way i feel like it needs to and i really won't know where to take it from there. that's also why i wont use my dandruff shampoo. there's so little of it left that i won't be able to buy more when it's finished. i don't understand my logic if there is any but i need to get back on track. i can't stay like this. i feel so upset. i am so upset. i feel really sad. i am also very sad. what if it hadn't worked out back then because i really am not cut out for it? what if it showed that there;s really something missing and i have no idea what I'm doing about anything at all at any given point in time? i don't understand myself right now and it's making me even more upset. i really need to feel like the world has stopped for a while. maybe on Tuesday i can just take a break and get my shit together. i really need help but i don't know where to get it. i don't think what friends i have know how to help or care enough to reach out in the first place. not that I'm sad about it, I'm the same when it comes to them. it's just the situation right now. i have a sad pepe sticker staring at me right now. I'm also really hungry. a lot of stuff are due to be paid soon. i feel like I've been obscenely spoiled my whole life and I'm really not worthy of a lot of things. i am very upset with how things turned out to be. i don't know why or how i let it get to here. no i actually do. i was very stressed and very upset for a very long time. that's why.and now I've been very stressed and very upset for a very long time again. how will i keep my shit together? is it these cycles for the rest of my life? I'm just hungry and sad right now and i think the very old suspiciously banana-smelling cheese i had earlier was not fit for human consumption. I'm just too sad to fall asleep right now and i really need help. having weird dreams about isn somerhalder doesn't really help at all too. what is up with my brain recently? or since forever, actually.

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send help Other February 02, 2025 at 4:09 pm 1 0