i wish i knew how to live a little

I feel like a LOT is changing in my life and It's really really overwhelming. By the title you would guess that I have no friends, but I really do. I actually have a lot of good friends, but they're not the closest ones. I had a best friend of 9 years since childhood, and we stopped talking because of an old fight. I don't talk to her a lot these days. I wish I did. My somewhat "best friend" (I don't know if she sees me as a best friend) that I met at dance class a while ago has also changed, and it's not bad, I just don't know what to talk about with her since she goes out to party and lives in my home country and has a healthy relationship, while I live in Spain and meet her or talk to her rarely, I am also not a party person nor am I dating anyone so I have 0 things to talk about that would make me interesting. Same with my other friends, I just don't know how to hang out with them anymore when I visit my home country because their idea of fun is putting alcohol in their cocktails and hanging out doing things in groups which I SUCK at. I also feel like I'm somehow missing out on life because I don't party or drink like crazy. I like to stay at home and make jokes with friends to the point that it's embarrasing to be outside, maybe I just really suck at keeping a conversation. What will I tell people in the future when they meet me? I've had no fun through out my teenage years and all I do is stay at home and study and watch movies. I have no friends to talk about things I really enjoy, nobody to have these deep talks with, no lover to hug, not anyone literally. Am I failing at life?

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Lilu Friends December 27, 2024 at 11:15 am 0 1