I NEED A FUCKING CLUE HERE, so fucking lost

so yeah Al here, where do i fucking start? maybe why the fuck did i get into marriage lol.
basically, 3rd year of married life so far. known each other for a while now. ofcourse before marriage, everything is gooood, and seems to be okay. we've had some issues communicating, more on her side cause she always played the emotional and sensitive card. we always had some arguments and because of my feelings for her i always had a patient trait and tried to understand her. but how the fucking fuck was I fucking wrong? issues always were when we are alone and whenever I try to explain my bits and pieces, i cant even talk she starts fucking crying and shuts me off completely. she'll be in her corner, unable to speak. so ofcourse i'll be on fucking mute to avoid deescalation. that shit always happened whenever we basically talked!
shit got even more serious when we've had our baby, she began to not only shut me off but began to make me like i am sort of fucking useless father, when in fact i would support her during the long hard nights, change the diapers and help around the house always. but always without a fucking smile. i started to feel like a fucking tool. baby's grown up and the mannerism did not change from her side it only got worse. we would go days without speaking sometimes, she would find anything to tell me that im not doing enough, like she feels bored at our place and needs to get to her parents home. there she is someone else, smile and completely different person. once she's back she'll be moody, no smile, fuck even my siblings and parents started to ask me what's wrong.

things got worse at some point that we were basically living as two roommates with a baby. love my kid, but she tries to keep him only for herself, once she started yelling at me because i was trying to give the baby a bath! i started resenting her from inside, the woman i once knew, i once loved is not there! things stayed like this for almost 15 months, basically i had no support from her when i needed it the most. i felt like i was in vicious circle, a depression circle, coudlnt speak to anyone to explain my shit. felt ashamed!
this led me to start talking to one girl online where i felt like someone was hearing me, and ilstening to me. this made me feel alive again. i had no feelings for her, i just love the fact that i could be heard.. we exchanged some photos and our daily routines sometimes and then one day the wife saw some of the messages, and she basically started yelling at me that i cheated on her. i know that it was a wrong to talk to another girl nehind her back. i said im sorry like millions times but also explained my shit and wanted to be heard once again about all our communication issues. but she just hangs on the cheating word!

Now the worse part is that she cant speak( she always finds a reason to cry), she writes in her journal, while she was having a shower she left the journal somehow open (maybe for me to see) - she just keeps mentioning that yeah he cheated on me, i've never done him any wrong etc.. Please God give me strength to face this!!

LIKE WTF. IM SO FUKCING LOST TBH. IT WAS ALREADYY BAD BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE IM DEALING WITH SOME BIPOLAR SHIT. SHE DOESNT ACKNOWLEDGE ANY MISBEHAVIOUR FROM HER SIDE LIKE EVER, PLAYS THE VICTIM CARD ALWAYS. PLUS SHE USES OUR KID NOW..

ashamed of myself talking to another girl, truly, but she found out i hoped that this could be the start of something new and better for all of us, that wuold have the perfect time to address all the issues about communication and about our feelings etc. but no! for her there were no issues at all..

i feel like my mind is gonna explode! just wanted to rant about this, anyone ever been in this situation?
how does it fucking end? i dont know if i even love her. she told evryone that i pushed her and hit her, and this is absolutely NOT TRUE, she even admitted to me in private that i never hit her and that she just said that in her fury!!!
im so fucking confused guys, i love my kid man, i feel like im drowning! just want to make him feel safe

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Al Relationships December 26, 2025 at 6:50 am 0 0