I know this is bad

I miss when I was starving. I have bulimia now and it was triggered by forced recovery. I miss that lethargic feeling I had. I was miserable but I was achieving something and my clothes being baggy were a sign I was eating so that I wouldn't be guilty. I was so close to my goal. So fucking close. And then I was cut off right when I was near the finish line for my weight. Starving was hard at first, but it made me feel safe. I could always sleep the day away easier. I had barely any energy to move but I wasnt even underweight so I still wanted to lose more. Everyday I binge and purge and it's horrible. It's terrible but I miss my anorexia, it was so comforting. It made me numb and took away my female body parts (breasts, period). It made me flat. I wish I could be light and small and thin. I miss starving so much.

Needed to get this outta my head I've been thinking about it for ages.

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anonymous Body May 01, 2025 at 6:08 am 0 1