I HATE RECOVERING FROM ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

What, almost everyone in my life abandoned and abused me so now I can't trust anyone ever again???? I have to go through this whole painful process of learning how to trust and learning how to communicate my feelings in a "healthy relationship" that makes me literally shake and cry because I feel like if I do that I will get fucking punched in the face. And WHAT IF my boyfriend I'm seeing IS abusive and I just can't pinpoint it??? What if he's manipulating me and I can't tell and now my friends are telling me they think I'm overthinking things, but what if I'm NOT???? What if he's cheating on me, manipulating me, he probably doesn't even care about me. He probably is just using me to make him feel better about himself and I think I might be in love with him some days and other days I just want to lock myself away from him and never talk to him again with no explanation. I won't because I really care about him and I know this is just my trauma response but holy SHIT. I can't believe how hard this is and I absolutely hate it and just want to kms, I'm such a pathetic waste.

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Jen Relationships December 15, 2024 at 4:54 pm 0 0