How to step foward

I had been talking with this guy from my school ( currently a senior in high school), and it was going great. We started talking feb 2 and things just ended a week ago. I genuinely thought this man was ITT! He seemed so nice, cool, not to mention exactly my type. I was honestly surprised he was into me? He ended up reaching out on insta and before that we would rarely see each other in the hallways for a brief moment. So yeah he sets a date up to meet up for coffee which we do, it goes good, he then offered we go to this show that his parents bought tickets for, so basically I ended up meeting his sister and parents. It went okay and we went on some nice dates after that. ( some back story tho) I’m a very shy and insecure person, I don't go out of my way to talk to people, I tend to stay in the background, and I rarely go out to hang. The complete OPPOSITE of him. Even physically we are complete opposites.) but besides that I thought we had such a blast outside of school on our dates, my dad is pretty strict so we would only hang 1 time per week for around 5-6 hours at a time going around town doing whatever. He treated me very well the first 2-3 weeks of talking, flowers , compliments, I knew he cared. But for years I’ve been told to watch out for red flags in men so you don’t end up hurt/ abused/or taken advantage of. Here are things I noticed that I just couldn’t shake and really bothered me but I could bring up with him. ( he would point out someone’s body, said the n word, first date he immediately started touching me, sadly had brain rot humor, he would say such outrageous things that I wouldn’t find funny or laugh at and he would laugh at my reactions, had a situationship 1 week before reaching out to me and he said he ended it because the distance was too much, his dad encouraged him to go after someone’s gf and so he did, and then the girl cheated on him, uses ChatGPT for such useless things like generating funny images like once we took a photo together and he showed me that he tried to make us Asian just to see how it looked?) to name a few. But after those would happen, I would distance myself a bit, not as playful but still present in a convo ( I would get over it quick and go back to normal because I would tell myself I was overthinking it). So I never told him, and I have a hard time telling people things that bother me because I’m a people pleaser. but that really bothered him so when he asked me if i actually liked him, to summerize I said “ yes, what made you think that?”, he said he would stand next to me and feel like he didn’t belong. And that he would stress out when I was distant and said he would watch yt videos on how to communicate better. I thought that was nice but I had no idea he even noticed nontheless it HURT HIM? so I apologize and I thanked him for trying to fix things but he told me he thinks it’s best we “ stop this whole thing bc its obvious” that im not ready for a relationship and I need to learn how to set boundaries. I was in shock honestly, I just said appreciate you’re honesty I’ll respect ur decision I guess I feel the same. “ he replies with “ thanks” and a smiling emoji and that’s the last I hear of him that night. I start BALLING and spiraling because I feel like I was the reason things ended, maybe he just wasn’t into me at all maybe I’m too ugly for him, ik im not the most out there or put together person but he didn’t even TRY to fix things or work things through. So I was sad, and started writing him this long ah paragraph saying how I’m actually sorry and I realize what I did and I didn’t want to be strangers, but then he just said “ is this ai?” Like how tone deaf do you have to be bruh. No I just used commas periods. And he didn't reply to my paragraph besides saying “ we can keep in touch I don’t mind” to which I said “ I doubt things can go back to normal, but if we can find a way I’m willing to try” and he just left me on sent after that for hours, he then gave my friend who he has a class with a book I gave him and told her to give it to me, then later that day comes to my house to drop off ( no contact just left them) some plastic containers that I had used to put some desserts I made and bought him. I was sooooo sad, crying constantly, my friends were worried, and was just having a bad rest of my week. Anyways I get to work 2 days later and a little side note my coworker who is a gorgeous woman was in a situation with the guy I’m talking to BROTHER. Anyways she asks me how’s it going and I tell her we ended things and she says how her and the brother had just ended things the day before. I was so shocked honestly but they had been having their own problems mostly the guy because she said she wanted a relationship ( they had been talking since December and it’s currently march) and the guy was being all sassy basically blaming her for forcing him. And a bunch of other problems. Anyways I find out while talking with her that the guy I’m talking to actually LIED to me. So before we were talking I had always seen him with this girl walking around, apparently he takes her on family vacations, family dinners, the beach, hang outs with their mutual friends, but before I could question all That he had addressed it in the beginning saying that she was his cousin. Come to find out, he lied. She is not his cousin. I was so maddd I just blocked him on the spot when I should’ve confronted him. Now it’s a few days later and I still see him around school, he genuinely pisses me off how you can just tell how much ego he has in just his walk. But I think part of me is jus jealous of his confidence honestly. But yeah I can’t stop thinking about him, seeing if he’ll do anything, hoping he’ll break no contact so I can humble him, but part of me is like willing to forgive him??? Honestly I don’t know what to do. I have him unblocked but I deleted all our chats, photos, history, threw away all his flowers. I just want an outside look on this, i wanted to to work out so badly because he has a lot of qualities i want to see in my future partner but like i mentioned some bad ones too. A lot of it had to do with my insecurity as well, i genuinely am so insecure about everything i constantly compared myself to girls he followed, his “cousin” his ex’s, even his brothers gf “ my coworker” worried he’ll realize I’m not worth the trouble. And this kinda proved my point which is why I think it’s making me go crazy. He seems to be doing great and I’m like not doing the best and it’s pissing me off. Some guys apparently are interested in me ( who’s been interested in me for a while apparently) and my friends are encouraging me to try them out but like I said I can’t get over this freaking guy man. Help me.

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Mari Dating March 31, 2026 at 9:21 pm 0 0