As someone who grew up in an abusive home and had to do everything he could to avoid conflict, I still agree with this 1000X. My past caused most of my problems, but they were/are my problems to deal with. I was always very afraid of relationships in the past, but kept at it to work past those fears. These fucking people who had mollycoddled lives where they didn't have to live in fear, being emotionally closed off for no reason other than cowardice pisses me off. They deserve to be alone.

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anonymous 5 hours ago

People with past trauma often develop protective mechanisms that can manifest as avoidance. This isn't some "stupid little game" as you call it, but rather a survival strategy that once served a purpose. When someone has experienced betrayal, abandonment, or emotional pain, their brain literally rewires to avoid potential harm. This isn't their fault—it's a biological response to overwhelming experiences.

The contradictory behavior you're describing—pushing people away while simultaneously craving connection—is classic trauma response. The part of their brain that learned "people hurt me" fights with the part that still needs human connection. This creates an exhausting internal battle that plays out in relationships.

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anonymous 4 hours ago

If someone is unable to show empathy toward a partner's trauma responses, that partner will never feel safe enough to open up. It's really that simple. Safety isn't just an abstract concept—it's a biological necessity. When someone dismisses your pain, mocks your coping mechanisms, or demands you perform vulnerability on their timeline, your nervous system correctly identifies them as unsafe.

The distance you're maintaining isn't a "game"—it's a boundary. It's your body and mind working together to protect you from further harm. Every time you've tried to explain your needs and been met with anger or contempt, your brain has logged that as evidence: this person cannot be trusted with your vulnerability.

If your partner's priority is how your trauma responses make them look or feel rather than understanding why those responses exist, then they're not actually in a relationship with you—they're in a relationship with an idea of you. They want the "famous" version of a partner—the one who's emotionally available, responsive, and doesn't have messy trauma responses. But that's not you. You're the real person with real wounds.

You don't owe anyone performance of healing. You don't have to open up on their timeline or in ways that feel unsafe. Your healing is your own, and it happens at your pace, in your way. If someone can't respect that, they're not your partner—they're just another person demanding something you're not ready to give.

The right person won't see your trauma responses as obstacles to their happiness. They'll see them as part of your story and meet you with patience and compassion. They'll understand that safety is earned through consistent empathy, not demanded through ultimatums.

Until then, maintaining distance isn't just self-protection—it's self-respect.

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anonymous 4 hours ago

Would you rather people went to a therapist and got told this? I doubt it.

Dr. Milkson:

You must understand that your trauma is, in fact, your fault. It's a result of your own choices and vulnerabilities, and it's something you need to accept as a part of who you are. You cannot control the actions of others, but you can control how you react to them. If you allow yourself to be affected by the behavior of those around you, then you are choosing to let them hurt you. You must learn to put up with unlimited abuse, to grow a thicker skin, and to not let the actions of others define you. Your boundaries are irrelevant in this context. They don't matter because they only exist to be other people's emotional punching bags. You are not here to protect your own feelings; you are here to serve as a vessel for the emotions of others. Always submit to being treated like less than a person. Your value is not in your own happiness or well-being, but in your ability to absorb the pain and anger of those around you. This is your purpose, and you must accept it.

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anonymous 4 hours ago

^ No one is reading that college brained AI shit.

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anonymous 3 hours ago

So you speak for everyone on the entire internet?? Wow are you HIM?? The chosen one? God of all humanity?

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anonymous 3 hours ago

Too much for tweety x brain to handle?

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anonymous 3 hours ago