Googling Losers from college at 3Am

Last night at around 3 Am I did the only thing that is acceptable for around that time. I Googled people I went to college with.

First I'm going to say college kind of sucks. It is more High School part 2 than anything. It is not some great place where you're finally embraced. And for most it's not some great "coming out of your shell" bullshit like on a movie. For most it's an awkward uncertain and scary time. Only the losers get to pretend life is a movie and my "friends" fell into that category.

My best friend was some asshole who no one really liked. I didn't even like him deep down, but I talked to him to be nice and then kinda deluded myself into thinking he was cool. One of those Ned Flanders dull sheltered types who think their shit doesn't stink and that they are better than people. They didn't know how to adapt and blend in social situations and thought everyone else was the problem. They're now peddling scam numerology shit online. Charging hundreds of dollars for consultations where he uses online apps to "determine ones destiny" Basically one step away from pretending to be a psychic. Best part? Years ago this loser discarded me after we weren't in the same classes anymore.

Next is my love interest. Some girl I was in classes with who I was drawn to immediately. She went out of her way to talk to me. I did the same. We did classwork together. Talked about our futures like we had a clue. Ate together.

A moment came where she wanted me to take action. Think the bed scene from Clueless, only I want gay and this wasn't on a bed. I was however a young adult who had never done anything with anyone, so yeah I was scared and awkward and froze like most honestly would.

After that it kinda fizzled with me and her. Long story short on top of my awkwardness I had a bad feeling about her deep down. She let on this air of being a nice deep person, while 95% of the time being a childish brat.

She has gotten arrested for doing retarded shit. Did just last week coincidentally. Thing is we both came from trash upbringings. Only I didn't get to have a childhood while she did. I wasn't suppose to amount to anything, she thought she would be famous. I never drank, fucked, or smoked anything. She did.

She could have achieved so much more than me but chose to act retarded. I spent my young adult years fighting endlessly for a chance at life that I was never supposed to have, meanwhile she chose to never stop partying like it's fun to live like an episode of Shameless.

So yeah. I was like most in college. Scared. Uncertain. Still living in hell. I got out. The losers remain stagnated forever. Glad I'm not a scam artist or married to a junky.

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anonymous Friends July 29, 2025 at 4:12 pm 0 0