Ghhh

I can't anymore.
The job market is impossible.
My mental health is declining by living with my parents.
I'm barely making enough to even think about meal planning, forget moving out.
I hate it here.
I just want to die.
I hate being an inconvenience.
I hate being a burden.
I hate that I'm a grown woman and my mother still thinks what she decides is the be all and end all.
Anything against her decisions is just backlash for me.
I hate her.
I don’t but I do.
I don't want to live anymore.
How long am I going to do this for?
I feel so pathetic.
I have a friend who doesn't mind listening to me ranting but how many times am I going to rant about the same thing.
I'm embarrassed.
I thought having toxic parents was a common thing.
It's not.
I'm the only person I know with parents like mine.
I've spoken to God but He favours her.
And it hurts so much more when I think of it like that.
I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face and blurry eyes.
I don't know how to get out of the situation I'm in.
I'm scared I'll be stuck in this cycle of being on good terms to being on bad terms to treading on eggshells. Until it starts again.
I'm always on thin ice with this horrible fricking woman.
Who's not horrible when she has her way.
I hate that I'm grown and still somewhat need my mother's validation.
I can't even leave without her permission.
I want to die.
Please.
Please make this end.

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anonymous Home January 13, 2026 at 9:04 am 0 0