For you, Dad.

I could do it. I could do it and it would be so easy. 13 years it has been since you pulled a gun on me, never said sorry, never owned up on it, all you had to say was "I don't know". I don't know why you did it, I scarcely imagine any sort justification needed to pull a fire arm, into my face, pulling the slide back, laughing like a madman over a FUCKING MICROWAVE PLATE!!!!! Yeah I was hungryI made some popcorn, the plate broke on its own, I got a replacement and that should have been it, but for you apparently, that was the last straw.

Calling me full of shit that my eyes are brown, (and saying oh wait they are), decking me in the head whenever I flinched from your presence, kicking the door in when i ran to mom for comfort, slapping me hard enough that my mom made me stay home from school in fear of abuse, insistent accusions of me "playing" the pity game with mom against you, burning my thumb with a fuse as a FUCKING PRANK, threaten to beat me because i was scared shitless when you were teaching me to drive, stealing my bike from work, constant belittlement on every single fucking thing I say and do and saying every place I work for is a piece of shit!

You probably don't even remember half of this shit because for you it was just another day. The callous treatment you inflict is like an everyday matter for you. And when I tell of this things you have done to my family members, all I ever got from them was stock silence, no pity, no remorse, no comfort, just quieted acceptance.

It would be so easy to break, burn and bury everything to do with you, with everyone. But I won't, i forgive, and I call upon Christ to ask his forgiveness for you as well, as terrible your actions were, I believe that you are not evil. You wept at your father's funeral, you gave me gifts that brought joy and memories of good times and helped support me in my time of need. You have love for me, despite your twisted actions, moms unconditional kindness gave me heart, and my sister's budding family gives me hope.

So I forgive you, and I will continue to forgive you, I will forgive you for all eternity, for The Lord's power of mercy is infinite, and so is mine.

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Luke Home September 18, 2025 at 8:17 pm 0 0