eMy entire life is defined to me by my grades. If I have to stay up all night I will. My parents dismiss my feelings so I have stopped talking about it to them. My friends keep leaving me out, doing fun things, not talking to me, ignoring what I say and glaring if I try to join in. So I keep working, I am a straight A student with 4 clubs and an honor club. I volunteer, I do work for anyone who asks, I help other get through the day. I might join the honor band, I practice 7 days a week, for hours. I am in GT reading and math. I don't have many friends, I am not popular. My parents are rich. Everyone takes one look at me ant thinks "They have it all. Money, Smarts, Honors, Awards" They will never know how hard it is. I wake up at 6:15 everyday. I cry myself to sleep. I can't confide my feelings, so I work hard. I have always loved to read. I read for hours on end, late into the night. Those nights, when I fall asleep from a different world I don't hear the voices in my head, telling me to hurt myself, study harder, ignore my friends back, not talk to anyone. Now I can't even read, I have to do other things first. I don't know when the last time I have truthfully smiled was. I don't know what to do with my life. Is it weird that I hate myself? I just want to go to sleep for a few days, not have to do anything else.
ReaderOther January 24, 2023 at 10:53 pm10