Done

I get it... you're pissed at me. I get it, for once, my reasonable, obliging, supportive personality was strained to breaking point and I told you some home truths in a non sugarcoated way and this hurt you.

I get it...

But...

You said "I miss you but am very conscious of how unhappy I make you". This should be an admission, an apology, a call to action surely? Were I struck with such a realisation I would be feeling not only lucky but also like the biggest pile of shite in the universe because I would know how much someone was doing and sacrificing for me and that they thought I didn't love them or didn't care about their happiness... For me, I'd be devastated to have come to this conclusion. But you, nah... You're made of stone.

I'm meant to be your partner, we are supposed to be building a steady relationship based on being each others biggest fan and go to person, that one touch that can cure pretty much anything, the person who can sometimes make it all better with a smile or a couple of words and yet, where are you when I need you? "going through your own shit" is where you are.
When my ego crumbles and all I need is a little reassurance, where are you? you're "dealing with your own issues and can't 'give me what I need'".

If this is truly the way you feel, stop being so goddamn motherfucking SELFISH, if you're not willing to change a single, solitary, minuscule part of what you do to even TRY to make me happy... Move the FUCK aside for someone who will.

I'm not perfect, I make mistakes... But I'm not leaving you in limbo, not deliberately watching you suffer for what I can only assume is some sickening personal gratification.
Everything I said to you the other day was rooted in truth, maybe not expressed with my usual grace and tact but this is what you get when you outwardly REFUSE to have a conversation with someone and spend all your time pushing them away and neglecting their feelings and needs. It bottles up to the point where it will eventually explode and guess what, it did.

I have put up with months of you saying things like "I hate that I love you" because I dared to stick around or "your politics is argumentative, antisocial and delusional" because I dared to say that trans rights are human rights or "I see a future with you and I don't want to" this, I cried myself to sleep over btw.

How the actual FUCK do you think that makes me feel?
All the while bending over backwards and offering you my time, love and patience to help you through the issues you have.

How the actual FUCK can you justify using someone like this?
You really are a selfish pig at times.

I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with you blinking drunkenly at me on a night when once again we were supposed to be spending quality time together and listen to you tell me that I'm "ashamed of you" that I "will eventually leave because everyone does". I'm not going to spend another weekend sat on my own when we were supposed to go out somewhere because you drank too much the night before and are sleeping off your hangover until that evening.

I've tried so hard to be supportive, there are things going on with you, I get it.
I've offered you space, not ultimatums. I've been there and I've backed off.
Until you tell me what you fucking want I CAN'T do anything.
It's not fair to hold me hostage to your emotions and issues.

I don't help you because I want to, I don't put up with your shit because I have to but I am rapidly being forced into a corner and you are leaving me very little recourse but to lash out, I have my own stuff going on as well and cannot shoulder your burdens all the time alongside.

You once promised me that you would never treat me like an emotional pack mule... You're both loading me up and leaving me to one side. I need you too you know. Relationships are a two way street, neither of us matters more than the other.

Work with me on this or fuck off...

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anonymous Relationships July 08, 2025 at 5:56 am 0 1