Do I?

So I have literally loved this guy for years (like 8 years now) and we were actually "together" in grade 5 but he broke up with me in grade 7. We never dated, it was like this really sweet relationship, but I never lost feelings for this guy. After me, he was with many other girls, but they never lasted, he was just looking for validation. But I still loved him, and I prayed for him all the time, that he would be mine if it was God's will. And this year, we started talking, and then he said he liked me, and I said I liked him too. We didn't automatically start a full-on relationship, but were in the talking stage for about 4 weeks until yesterday when he asked me to be his girlfriend. And I said yes. And he is the most perfect guy in the world. He encourages me, he calls me stunning and beautiful, he tells me how happy I make him, and how this relationship feels different. He holds my hand and hugs me and makes me feel so loved. He's perfect. And it's an answer to prayer. But why then do I feel like I don't love him anymore. It's like I do love him and want this to work out but at the same time I don't get overly excited when his name pops up on notifications. I don't feel like I'm giving him what he deserves and I feel so so awful that I may not love him as I should. I'm also on my period currently, but I've been feeling slightly like this the whole time. Should I have said no from the start? I want to break up with him but I really don't want to either, because I feel that this is where God is guiding me. It's not that I want someone better because there isn't someone better, but I want to love him as much as he loves me. I really really want to love him, but maybe I don't need to yet. Maybe this love will form gradually as I spend more time with him. Maybe I'm just overreacting and need to sleep properly. I want to see how I cope a day without texting him. I've got school camp next week and we're in different year groups (He's the year above) and we aren't allowed our phones at camp, so maybe after then I'll see how I feel without him for a couple of days and pray about it and make a decision. For those reading this, thank you for putting up with me :)

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anonymous Dating April 22, 2025 at 5:16 am 1 1