Cursed Failure

I just wanted to settle down with a beautiful woman. Marry her. Love her. Die for her. Alas, everything is governed, judged and measured by money. Your loyalty, honesty, love, care, feelings don't come into play until after a woman has picked you as her future partner. That money part is the initial and the biggest barrier. I don't have any money. I made the worst career decisions of my life and now I haven't had a job for over 5 years. I'm living off my parents leftover little money. They too are unable to support me anymore. I was a bright kid. Straight A's. But then life happened and as I grew up, I fell behind and realised I was no better than average. Even less than mediocre.

I'm 32 years old now and a huge fucking failure. I can't get a job anywhere. Atleast not in the private sector as my stupid country is only concerned with what's on paper. I. E. Your resume. Your skills or capability don't matter. They won't even give me a job because according to their criteria I'm getting old and therefore a liability.

They only want to hire freshers straight out of college as they are the cheapest to hire.

I didn't have big ambitions in my life anyway. All I wanted was all others have. A simple married life with a beautiful woman and 2 kids. But even that is a fucking mountain for me to conquer.

So many of my friends just got their girlfriends pregnant and either left them or married them. People are having sex all the time. Everwhere. All time. I don't even get to do that.

People with no money, no future, no career are somewhow still breeding, getting married and having kids. I wanted that life and I can't have even that. Why is it that women only wanna have conditions with me before getting into a relationship while other of my friends are just accepted as they are?

What did I do so wrong? Why am i the only one being punished? I wanna marry too. I want a life too goddamit. I deserve it too.

I never asked for, cared for, wanted a big mansion, cars, money, luxuries and comforts. Just a beautiful wife and some kids. People get that without asking. Like its a given. Except for me.

Now i only get offered odd jobs. I don't make much money in it at all. And guess what? Women don't want me the second that they get to know that i do odd jobs. They themselves can be unemployed and never made a dime but want a provider for a man.

The poor women who do odd jobs like me want a rich guy. The rich women want even richer. Nobody wants me. Its been over a decade that I'm alone. Few relationships here and there that did not last more than a few months.

Am I doomed to die alone? That was always my biggest fear and I'm seeing it happen in front of my very eyes. I can do nothing except sit and watch my life fall apart and shatter in a million pieces. I'll never find happiness. I'll never be happy. Forever cursed to roam these lands searching for someone who'll never come.

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anonymous Relationships May 17, 2025 at 6:45 pm 0 0