college may be my worst life decision

I am currently on my third semester of my two year community college excursion and it’s fucking horrible. my first two semesters were fine and i actually was quite enjoying it but now i just wanna fucking quit and live off grid and forget capitalism exists and everything sucks and i hate it. i tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but he’s at college for a reason. he knows what he’s going for and he is t taking science or math classes which fucking helps. i’m failing both biology and calculus and idk what’s fucking happening and i’m 4500$ in debt to something i didn’t even want to do. my dad had me go to college and i was under the impression that he’d be paying for me and i pay him back so i wouldn’t have to worry about interest and shit but fuck that apparently because when the time came to pay he said no and get loans. thanks. thank you. so fucking helpful dad. i didn’t even want to go to school yet until i had an actual fucking plan for what i wanted to do and now im halfway through college with no idea for a job after and not even a want for a job after. my hell is being stuck with one job for the rest of my life that sounds fucking horrible and i’d rather die. that’s all college is for. it’s for one career for the rest of your life and also so the government makes more money off of kids who don’t know how loans work. i have no free time, im on a have negative free time now cause i need tutors for my two classes that im probably failing. the same two classes that professors don’t post grades for so i just have to guess how im doing. for my birthday im asking only for help with paying the loans off because holy fucking shit i can’t make enough money to live and also pay the loans by 2027. i tried to tell my boyfriend how depressing this felt because just a few years ago i would’ve been asking for fun things that i probably didn’t even need and now im 20 and i get stuff for loans that i shouldn’t even have because i didn’t want to go back to fucking school with no idea what i wanted to get out of it. he said that loans getting paid is a great gift and all this and that BUT OF COURSE HED THINK SO BECAUSE HES ACRUALLY AT SCHOOL FOR A REAL FUCKING REASON!!!! he then said that worrying about it like this won’t help the situation and i should try to reframe my mindset but all i can think about is “hooray my loans that i didn’t want and shouldn’t have are getting paid by other people that i will pay back and the only different is that there isn’t interest! yay” i fucking hate school and work and capitalism and trump for making everything expensive and no more park rangers which was literally my only inkling of an idea for a potential job and fuck america and the world and i don’t want to be here anymore

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anonymous School March 10, 2025 at 8:18 pm 0 0