church drama

I was invited to teach Sunday school at another church but I've had no peace about it I didn't tell my mom that part but that I want to use wisdom I just dont want to leave the church were at because I was offered a position, but she took this as me telling her she wasn't using wisdom and then says well the pastor will be upset when she said yes for me I never agreed I was made to agree by her and my grandma who doesn't even go there now she's really upset at me when I just said I think we need to really think about this I wasn't the one who said yes they didn't even give me a week to think about it and I start college in the fall full-time I doubt I will have time for that role and what is expected. She's upset but I dont know why I've never been asked this whole time how I felt and thought when I was I said I wasn't sure not yes 1000% I dont know im not happy with this decision im hardly sleeping and every time I think about having to teach kids all this stuff like songs, the bible, and a craft in 45 minutes my chest feels tight this could be anxiety because I've never done anything like this but this church isn't 1000% established and not to be mean this guy is known to not commit I would just hate to go and then that fall through or start college and have to stop. im also very upset because the church we are at has not believed in me at all they never taught me anything about this they put nothing into the youth but when I start to age out they do stuff with the youth but there's a huge backstory to the previous church and why my mom wants to leave so bad. Well this is a rant no one will see so I might as well give the full back-story it starts years ago with my grandma a pastors wife ill call her PW for short well they were friends and they always fought and bickered whether that be over the kitchen during meetings or my grandma just being there in general well my grandma is sending not so nice messages and not sending good body signal to the PW and the Pastor himself (she's high off of pain pills) well it all comes to a head one night instead of asking my mom what's going on they ask the congregation if they have any issues with the PW or pastor and it starts off smoothly but I know by the time it reaches my grandma its going to hit the fan so it finally does and they argue in front of the whole church. Pastor doesn't stop it nobody does but PW brought up being there for my grandma during cancer my grandma brings up being there for PW when her daughter died of a herion OD but that's the last thing I remember after that we all had left the church and went somewhere that had just opened that was the deadest church I've ever sat in the guy sounded like a dog howling at the moon when he sung just not for me nor my mom so eventually after getting a word we go back to that church we feel out of place and like people just stare at us because they do they think we have something against the pastor and his wife because my grandma did we dont. Ive also been sort of bullied by the pastors kid this guys is the youth leader like 40 years old he doesn't really like me because im different/quiet.. well before we left one youth night he calls everyone out by name and then at the end is me well he just says everyone get up here I didn't want to I wasn't called by name like it was rude... then I was told well he said everyone get up there but he literally called everyone out by name before that! Anyways last Sunday I was basically called immature because the pastor said people didn't need to be going to their car (that's what I do) then the pastors kid says yeah that's real immature buddy im only 17 almost 18 I was not raised in this and you guys are all so rude (except like 2 people)! I was also called a loner by another woman at this church and bullied before that by the teens and one of the moms and all the youth pastor done was get on stage and say bullying isn't of God like no duh Sherlock! That church seriously always has drama and constantly hides things from its congregation(Like the other son cheating on his wife and leaving his kids). But I still dont know about leaving because I will miss my friends who visit from Arkansas I wish I could just move states and start over but my dream college is 45 minutes away so I will truly never get away from my grandmas legacy that she has with churches in this state. I have no one to go to this about....

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anonymous Religion March 14, 2026 at 12:50 am 0 0