a retard kid on Willy Wonka

The 1971 version. Shitty Johnny Depp version and wimpy sissy homo Wonka doesn't count.

The news shows a story of a golden ticket winner. A boy around 10 with headphones on and a keychain of "sensory toys" on a keychain attached to a loop on his pants. He's staring into a tablet. The kid doesn't notice the news reporter attempting to get his attention. News reporter attempts to tap the kid's tablet, kid HOWLS, and the parents play it off. The mother attempts to blame the reporter for "invading his personal space." Mother begs retard son to speak to the reporter. Child fake cries and parents bribe the child with the promise of Chick Fil-a if he talks to them. Kid says "I drink caramel" and nothing else. Slugworth is there and shakes his head, knowing this kid is too evil, even for him.

Fast forward to factory tour day. Wonka attempts to shake the boys hand, as the kid is looking into his tablet. Wonka attempts to pat the kid's shoulder, kid howls. In the hallway that shrinks the kid starts biting and pushing other parents and kids. Mother attempts to wrangle the brat and she gets a headbutt in the stomach. Mother continues her Stokholm Syndrome for the little brat.

In the candy room retard pushes and bites other kids if they are near anything he wants at that moment. Runs around like a rabbid dog. Takes a piece of candy from Veruca who cries to her daddy. Violet stands up to him when he attempts to grab the gum from behind her ear. Retard's mom gives Violet shit, Wonka looks at Violet with approval like she did the right thing.

Agustus starts drinking the chocolate. Retard wants to drink chocolate. Wonka doesn't even say anything as the brat pushes Agustus down while howling like a banshee and instantly falls into the chocolate river and goes into the water. Mom says in a panic that swim lessons were "sensory overload for him and he never learned how to swim."

Wonka: Goodness what are we going to do? I don't have a moon phase room, as that might help him howl. Oh well, he's in hell now.

Grandpa Joe: He belongs in hell.

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anonymous Funny October 22, 2026 at 6:08 pm 0 0