a$$

im really tired of my tendencies. there is a reason why i cant seem to hold on to friendships and why they dont seem to last. i really yearn for a genuine strong and stable friendgroup but how will that happen for me if all i do is sabotage my friendships? i become dependent on them and the closer i feel towards them, the more love i start to develop for them, the more dependent i am on them and my expectations become sky high. my expectations are too high for a single friend to manage, i know they care for me and i am so well aware of how they really have good intentions for me, yet why cant i seem to just accept that? why do i always want more? and i know i definitely shouldve been upfront about what i needed, but frankly, im nowhere half as 'confrontational' and communicative as i am now. i may not still be communicative actually, im not sure, perhaps im still not good at self regulating as i think i am. wow i really dont know how to clean up the glass i shattered on the floor. i really still talk to people when im disregulated and dysfunctional instead of speaking from a place of clarity. im actually really tired of myself. i feel lonely a lot of the times, i really long for a solid friend group and perhaps just one or two friends by my side i can really lean on. dawg i yearn for kdrama friendships fml. i feel out of place sometimes. man what the fuck i think i just need to heal and see a proper therapist fuck i think life would genuinely feel a lot less heavy if i just heal myself and just detach bro oh ym goodness yeah ok im done

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anonymous Friends December 25, 2025 at 3:30 pm 0 0