Wow

My sister wanted me to take her to a fair and she went to ask my mum. Automatically, mum questions why I want to go and my sister has to tell her that it wasn't my idea in order for her to let us go.
But she would never say that to my other siblings. She knows they get up to shit and still she'll interrogate me instead of them.
I can’t even go to the fucking park without her fucking permission.
We went to the fair, came back, my dad was complaining about some part of the house that was a bit dirty (we're a family of 7, the house isn’t hoing to be perfect). And i thought to myself: why is it that something has to be brought up after we had a day out. Parents just expect you to do chores and never live. One day, I spent one day, just a few hours, out with my baby sister in a fair and I'm being criticised for not using that time to do chores instead.
My parents hate that i live in their house but they don't want me to move out due to cultural standards and the "shame" that'll befall them from the fucked up small community we live in. So, im grown and im treated like a fucking child unless i have to sort out their stupid fucking government stuff.
They despise my existence so much, they won't speak to me unless it's to complain about one of their children, tell me to do something or sort some fucking thing for them.
I have no compassion left for them, just obligated obedience with me living under their roof.
I've been contemplating suicide for a while, a long while, for more reasons than the ones I've mentioned but i just can't get myself to do it.
Today, i was thinking about death and deeped how your life actually ends. There's no more of what you know and you're literally thrust into the unknown.
How scary.

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anonymous Home June 28, 2025 at 5:02 pm 0 0