Why me

COVID has been pretty good on me until now I'd say. I got good grades, (A's and B's) lost some friends, but had online ones. But my best friend (my dog) passed away. She was the only thing I had. The only one I could trust. My parents are failures who dropped out of college and ran away from bad family relationships to get married. Recently my sister has been in the dog house with my parents. She's been a brat and liar. My grades have gone down, Science D+ and History C which is completely unacceptable in my parent's house. I've felt so much damn pressure on me all this time because my sister is a failure and so are they. I have to do all this. I've struggled with depression and tried to kill myself before. I've felt so low after my dog passed away and they say it's all excuses because I try and stay happy on the outside for them but cry myself to sleep every night. I've been clean from drugs for a year because I wanted to change and make them happy but I so wanna go back to them right now. They are always yelling. So bipolar. They get in fights all the time but don't get divorced. It's such a toxic household. They call me and my sister every name in the book like idiots, dumbasses, retarded, stupid, bitch, and much more. They don't understand how much time I spend trying to solve problems and equations. I spend hours and hours. They want straight A's but I can't. The best I can get A's and B's. Now they're taking away my devices. The only fucking thing I have now. What am I supposed to do? I'm gonna get depressed again and fucking try to kill myself. I fucking just know it.

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anonymous School March 01, 2021 at 3:47 pm 0 1