UGH

So im bisexual. ive known this for like a year and a half, and i mostly like guys rn. well so i though. I used to like girls more, but idk what changed this summer, I was just suddenly more attracted to guys and wasnt very attracted to girls. But not even a month after high school starts, i like a girl. She's new at my school. Ive never had an actual convo with her, and im not even sure why i like her bc shes not very pretty. I normally like pretty, feminine, kind girls like me, but now i like this tall, athletic, kinda pretty girl. Weve never even talked, but we have mutual friends, and i have a class with her. We're gonna call this girl Lara (this isnt her actual name). So i told my friend that switched schools and has never seen Lara before that i like Lara. She didnt say much (she knows im bi, and shes gay), and just told me that shes heard about lara. I kept liking her, and a couple weeks later, one of my friends had a chill bday party at her house. she invited a bunch of our friends, including two guys that are close to lara (im friends with them too, but theyre close with lara.) one of them, lets call him Connor, said that he has a crush on lara. no one at the bday party knew that i liked her too, so it want awkward or anything. I was shocked. I thought that lara was gay, but when i asked him, he said that she wasnt. Im very delusional, so i just told myself that maybe she just wasnt out yet, and i still might have a chance. Um, no. I left the party and texted one of my closer friends (who was also at the party) that i like lara. She was shocked, and told me that she doesnt even know who lara is, but that shes heard her name. she had to lave the party early, so i told her what she had missed (that connor likes lara and that lara is straight). She told me that she thinks that lara has a twin, which i already knew, i just didnt know who her twin was. she then said that she thinks that lara is baptist, so shes probably homophobic and VERY straight. i was disappointed, but i knew from the start that nothing was probably gonna happen between us and that she prob doesnt even like me back. Also, at the party, connor said that he was going to ask lara to hoco, which is a week from now (i cant go), and that he thinks he has a 50% chance. we went back to school on monday, and i heard that lara was in a wheelchair and that she wasnt at school. The next day, she was also out, and today as well. So good news is, i dont think connor is gonna get to go to hoco with her, which sucks for him, but also makes me feel a little better, and makes the process of forcing myself to stop liking her a little easier.

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anonymous Crushes September 18, 2024 at 11:16 pm 0 0