my life is a slow painful death

when will i die fuck,. jeez. everyday is so quick but if you merge all the days coming and past it all feels so painfully slow. i dont feel anything out of life anymore like or i did when i was a kid. its numb. what a boring life to be born into. if i could describe it. hell is the only word that comes to mind. no one deserves this. not even music sparks a joy anymore. only thing that numbs the numb pain that feels like pain in my brain everyday is getting drunk. and no i still feel like shit in there when im not hungover. its like i have this brain disease where my brain is degrading itself. same with my energy. atleast i dont feel like complete shit when im drunk though. this life is painful slow death. maybe if i wasn't such an ass as a kid god would have given me a miracle or killed me by now. anyone else feel the same way? i wish i didnt have so many good memories to compare to how it is now. maybe it would be better if i didnt know what good felt like. then things wouldnt feel so shitty.

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anonymous Other October 08, 2019 at 10:19 pm 1 1