Is this worth fighting for?

Is this really a world that worth fighting for?
I always feel like this world is very messed up.
It feels like we evolved, we changed gradually over time and we became better and we are now peaceful, but it's not. People doesn't change. What they were doing at hundreds of years ago, it just changed its form but it's still there. We still has it. People still judge people by their appearances, not their souls. People still yearn for the powers and positions. People still waste their time relying on their emotions. People still fights and fights and fights. Maybe I'm too young to say this but this is not worth it. People can live peacefully and calmly. They need to stop all this. My mom always say people can't be trusted and she always found a way to make my friends untrustful for me. I can't trust people. I haven't talked my inside feeling out for a long time. Maybe I never haven't. There's too much inside me and I want to break. I need to break. Not I am about to break. I need to break. I'm so tired of this. The human society, with 7 billion people, in this small planet that can be circled 7 and half by light in a second, just a part of one of the million galaxies, I am so tired. I don't know if anybody knows this. I also have no idea what I'm saying right now Im just writing down what's in my mind and it feels great. I don't know. I don't know. And I don;t know how people live with answers. I know waht life is, I just don't know what life is for me. I've been broken so many times. Even my own parents doesn't know this she thinks she's the only one with emotion. She says she cares about me when all she does is to make her the good guy and always find a way to feel superior of me. Does she know how I felt so afriad of losing my friend today? I saw the way she looked at me. I don't know but I thikn I know what that was, and I would feel the same if I was in that situation. I feel like I crossed the line she's also fragile she might be already broken and I'm just stomping on the shattered glass of hers. I might be breaking somebody when only thing I care about is myself. Mom's right. I'm selfish. I'm self oriented and thinks I know everything and alwasy find a way to fight back to win this. But now I'm starting to think all these fights I've been doing for years now doesn't matter. I'm gonna live for like a small peice of time in this planet and My life wouldn't matter to anyone in future. Is this really worth fighting for? Am I strong enough to fight through all these things and achieve happiness? You know what? I should not be feeling this way. I should be happy. Compare to all these people in the warzones, poverty, and seriously damaging environemtn. I mean, what do i don't have? I have a house that protects me and fresh water coming out whenever I want to, I should be happy, I should be so happy that I had chance to move into America and learn english and study in this fine enviroenmtn compared to my home country. I should be happy but I'm not. I know what my parents' been through. They fought fought and fought to be in this place but am I strong enough for that.
And is this worth fighting for?
I don't know. I feel like it isn't.
I don't want to do this anymore, but I got a one more day to live every day. Until I die.

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Hannah Other April 05, 2025 at 12:10 am 0 0