Think of one thing: In the long run, who will make you happier?

If you are looking for a serious relationship, go for whoever can keep you happy your whole life, not just a night, or a week, or a month, or even a year, till the day you die, who can keep you happy?

If your not looking for anything serious, go for whoever makes you happier in the moment. You are currently dating Helena, which could be an issue, but what I suggest is just hanging out with Jake more. Just to see how he treats you, makes you feel, that kind of thing. For a long distance relationship, see who can make you smile more, and for longer. Who keeps you entertained, and treats you right.

You have experience being partners with Helena, so you know what that is like, and the way you put it, she does make you happy, which is great. the only thing I can see as an issue there is this:

The way I've categorized dating in my head is as such: Both partners have one job: To make the other feel loved by any means possible. For me and my girlfriend, that means I hold her hand, let her sleep on my shoulder, carry her bags for her just because I love her, that kind of thing. That also means that she does her best to make me feel loved, which she is doing by simply being my girlfriend (But this isn't about me)

So, taking this into account, just try and see who fulfills that job better. Who do you think is more capable of making you feel truly, wholly loved? Not just in the moment, but hours after, who can make you feel loved just by seeing a text from them?

For Helena seeing this should be easy, you are dating after all, but with Jake it might be harder. Just try and see what he is willing go do for you. Ask him politely for favors and see how kind and willing he is to do this.

I say this, of course, assuming that you talk often to Jake.

What I DO NOT suggest is Polyamory. While many people hype it up as a great way to connect with many people, just like Polygamy has historically caused terrible marriages and many divorces, so would Polyamory, that is even if they would let you. If I were Jake, I would turn you down in an instant if I wasn't the only one you were seeing. It has the same effect as cheating. Feeling like "Oh, so I'm not enough for you? My love, which I give you fully and with reckless abandon, isn't enough?" which causes lots of trouble.

I'd say just pick whoever is right for what *you* want. If you see a future with Jake, and a future with somebody is what you want, choose him. He can give you want you want.

I know I'm giving loads of empty advice- I'm sorry, when it comes to love I am pretty new, but I know a lot about people, and what they deserve: What I know for sure is what you deserve is somebody to make you feel whole, happy, and safe, for your whole life. Choose whoever does that better.

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Anon in Love 4 days ago

Happiness is considered a butterfly, that's what I've heard.

Why don't you try remembering why you and Helena were dating in the first place? Obviously, there was, or is, a time wherein she made you the happiest, as if you were on cloud 9, and of course: the reason why you fell for her. Jake, on the other hand, this happiness that you experience with him can be fleeting. What if Helena makes you happier than you feel around Jake; then you might as well consider your next moves.

As mentioned by Anon in Love, I completely agree with him! Think about this over and over again, you CAN do this! Trust in yourself!

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Maloi 4 days ago

If it's because of looks because your dating her you're wrong shallow and vain because looks are not a reason to date someone and you shouldn't and don't have to have looks for someone to date you.

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Anonymous 4 days ago

i don't mean to be rude but you should not play with helena's feelings. i understand that you can feel attraction towards others but you have to think about how helena will feel if she found out you're cheating on them. please be considerate of her feelings and tell her about your feelings for jake if its serious. break up with her and move on with jake, since your feelings for helena is not true and could only be some sort of physical attraction. i hope this helps.

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anon 2 days ago