I wasn’t born for correct love(weird rant)

Just for clarification I’m hideous, I’m not 100% sure what is wrong with my face but it surely repulses the hell out of men to the point I’ve spent the first 15 years of my life up to now in a almost 100% female world.Im only ever surrounded by other women because men won’t even come near me and when they do it’s only malice.i don’t know understand what I’ve done wrong to them since I never speak negatively them.i also don’t how to coherently complain about things that have upset me so far so i will make a low quality list.I understand that i should be grateful im getting the attention i do regardless but it still stings that im just so….obsolete to them
-I had never even had been friends with a boy until 3rd grade-If it could even be called that…I’ve only been friends with 2 other boys since then all of which had ended within 7 months due to them absolutely humiliating me everyday and acting as if they’re better than me(hitting me,insulting me,making fun of my home life,etc)
-I’ve never had a boy confess to me before and I’ve never even been given a valentines gift when the class would hand them out boys would skip me or write some note like “your dog is nice” on this note (Outside of family) I’ve been complimented by a boy irl 3 times my entire life(two of which were my outfit ive only been called pretty by a boy irl once)remember each one vividly because it’s so out of place for me
-there’s been multiple times where I have gone MONTHS without a positive interaction with a man,I’ve had dudes insult me out of nowhere for being ugly…it’s like my entire existence is just to be mocked by them :(
That’s all I can think of for now….but it honestly just hurts so much because I would love to have a husband and kids one day but I know it’ll never happen because a man could never stand to see my face everyday.how could a guy ever desire me enough to actually have romantic feelings?being ugly and annoying is curse…it hurts so bad seeing prettier girls get affection like this knowing no matter how horrid they act a guy will always like them…even when i try my hardest to be a docile and nice and “good” as possible it just seems to make them more annoyed with my presence.my only hope is that I could get artificially inseminated and live alone as a single mom,at least I would get one of my wishes.

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maybe I deserve it Dating April 02, 2025 at 8:43 pm 3 1