I NEED TO DIE HOLY SHIT

oh my god I need to kill myself so so so fucking bad FUCKCKKK but I'm just too much of a coward and a pussy to fucking do it so it'll never happen. my biggest wish really is to get hit by a truck and die instantly man I'm so tired of living. I'm graduating in a few weeks, and exams are next week and I feel so shitty. honestly these 12 or whatever year of school have drained me so much I don't have any dreams aspirations or passions anymore I'm just so tired. i used to like math and art but these fuckass teachers ruined everything. yes of course! I love doing math questions printed from a random ass worksheet from 20 years ago which has one number solutions that are all wrong!!!! of course!!!! I will definitely be able to figure out the answer all on my own!!!!! thanks. and this fuck ass teacher who doesn't even teach and just assign random ass work that I don't give a shit about and gives everything IDENTICAL GRADES no matter if they turn in actual garbage or a masterpiece lololololololol. I remember being so excited to go to this super awesome amazing art school program wowwww but now everything just feels like annoying annoying work. Now it's 4 more years of university, something I don't really care about that I'm just doing to make my parents happy lol! why do I even want to make my parents happy after they've caused me so much suffering over the years oh my god. but then I think rationally! of course what I'm doing is great bc I will at least make money!!!! liar liar liar I'm going crazy. I NEED TO GET HIT BY A TRUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! FREE ME FROM THIS SUFFERING!!!!!!! on top of all this I feel insane every time I hang out with my friends, I feel like I'm putting on a show except I'm the clown, I'm always the butt of the joke, no one takes me seriously, no one listens to me, but of course, I don't want to being it up because I don't want to cry while confronting them! because at the end of the day it's me and not them. AND ON TOP TOP OF ALL THIS EVERY SINGL BONE IN MY BODY FUCKING HURTS, AT THIS POINT YOU CANT AASK oh what hurts today! YOU HAVE TO ASK WHAT DOESNT HURT!!!!!! to answer right now it's my knees, (painfully) upper back (it's stiff but everything is always stiff) hahaahhaahah maybe not my inside of stomach but yk I do feel the hunger! why? bc I didn't fucking eat dinner? why? because my parents don't fucking eat dinner so we don't get to eat it either. of course, I can go downstairs and cook mysf but that's embarrassing! and ill get interrogated! oh what are u doing? why are u doing this? why are you hungry? you're not usually hungry now? are you sick? do you want me to bend over backwards to cook for you? NO FUCK OFF FUCK OFF LEAVE ME ALONE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KILL YOURSELF AND KILL MYSELF OH MY GODODDDDDD. I'm insane I'm so insane. tomorrow I have to put on my ugly clothes and bring my ugly self to the stupid event. so performative. smile and laugh while they announce what you're doing for university why everyone watches and ask wow who is that! because of course nobody would know haha why would you know. why do the normal people forget me and the worst of the worst always remember me huh. why why why just let everyone forget me so I can isolate myself and finally die. I'm so tired I'm just so so tired please hit me with a truck please please please fuck.

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anonymous Other June 12, 2024 at 10:46 pm 0 0