i just want to be wanted.

I just wish I was desired and wanted. I had a boyfriend (ex now), that just always made me feel un wanted. From the beginning its like he only wanted me for my looks and my body, and then he would never treat me nice like it got to a point where i'd have to beg him to stop saying mean things. And like now i'm still dealing with him and i don't even know why. just typing this and thinking about it all is making me tear up. Like someone loved me to the point where they'd do anything to not lose me. Instead, i'm still getting ignored and left on read. For a long time i feel like i've been searching for love and validation and i've never got it. Maybe temporarily but never nothing real. never nothing that would stay. I hate that I put myself through this. sometimes i just don't want to feel anything. like i truthfully hate feeling like this but I also hate knowing that it's my fault I feel like this, because for some reason, i cant fully walk away.

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endora~ Relationships January 25, 2025 at 11:05 pm 3 0