I just got a girlfriend, and I feel bad.

Well, when I say I feel bad it's or a reason that most wouldn't assume. This girl is, at least to me, one of the most loving, caring, kind, funny people that has ever existed, and I am one lucky man to be her boyfriend. The luckiest.

The reason I feel bad is because I bet I am her first boyfriend to think this.

As far as I know, she has dated two other guys before me, both fell through.

Today I offered to carry her groceries while we were out shopping, and to my amaze and astonishment, she said no. I wanted to carry her stuff not because of some stupid "Alpha Male" ideology like some might think, but because I think I am in love with her, although inexperience in love as I may be, and I want so badly to treat her with the utmost respect, love, care, and attention I can physically give her. I want her to feel so loved it almost makes her sick.

the reason I think she declined was because she wasn't used to being loved the way I want to love her. I show my love for her through flirting, compliments, doing things for her, giving her my time, attention, and paying attention to her boundaries in everything.

I think her last two boyfriends did nothing of the sort.

They were both kinda trashy, not great people, and I think it have her a skewed view on what dating should be. I believe dating should be as follows: The boyfriends job is to care for, love, and respect his girlfriend. The girlfriend should respect, care for, and love the boyfriend. In an ideal relationship, nobody is over the other, nobody does more, just what they do is different. For girls, caring for may be things like being careful with how you touch and talking to them, carrying things for them and doing chores for them, that kind of thing. For boys, caring may be things like just giving him compliments, meeting his emotional needs, and making sure he knows he's loved. Even though the boy may do more for the girl physically, the girl may do more for him emotionally than he does her. That's fair. That's ideal.

What I want from her is one thing: I want to feel loved by someone. I feel love a lot, I am lucky and blessed to constantly have people around me who love me, my parents, my friends, my family, all love me. What I want is somebody who can say I love you and mean something else. That is literally all I want from her. I don't want anything overly physical, I don't even want sex, I just want her to love me.

What I want to give her is one thing: I want to make sure she feels loved. She has gone through a lot with her life, she has a lot more mental health issues than me, and while I can't fix her, and won't try, I can love her, every single day till the day I die, even if we break up. All I want is to treat her right, like the men before me should have but didn't.

Honestly, more than anything, I just enjoy her, and her company.

This is literally the end of Day One being a couple, so we have gone no further than sitting close together, her laying on my shoulder, and us holding hands. Which honestly, for me, is perfect bliss. Like I said, I don't want sex, I don't need sex, in fact the vast majority of me doesn't want sex yet, I want that to be it's own special thing with it's own special person. I'm fine holding hands and cuddling.

Not only that, I get something very, VERY valuable out of our relationship: I have literally seen myself improving since we started. In the past I have struggled with sleep, hygiene, and most of all, I hate the fact I'm a bit of a perv- it disgusts me beyond comprehension, because I've been raised to respect woman, so to see them with such vulgar eyes is utterly disturbing.

And yet, since we started dating, I have noticed, even my mind, my thoughts, are changing. I feel more loving, more caring, toward everyone around me even, I have had close to no inappropriate thoughts today, in fact I feel cleaner today than I have in probably years, I feel more flirty, more hygienic, more centered on what I want out of life, and more sure of what I want. She has literally made me a better person, and she will continue to do so, I am sure of that.

How long we date, I am unsure. Maybe we go till we marry, maybe we split up in a week, but one thing I am sure of: She has made me a better person in *one day*.

Heck it goes down even to when I go to sleep! It may be late now, but before this I would spend hours and hours at night watching YouTube or whatever else I wanted, last night, the night I confessed my love to her, I didn't watch even a lick. Even tonight, I'm going to bed at a more acceptable time.

All in all, I'm just giddy with excitement. This girl is quite literally a gift from god for me, she is amazing, and we haven't even really started dating.

I have one thing to say for anyone in a similar situation to me, male and barely entering the dating scene:

No matter what you do, no matter who you date, no matter why you date them, whoever your partner is needs three things from you: Respect, Care, and Love. Give those freely. I you give someone those three things, that relationship will last.

Also, don't talk politics with your dates. Just saying.

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Anon is Love Dating March 30, 2025 at 1:47 am 1 0