I can't keep going

You know how you have those days whereyou screw up and u start a fight and ur just generally kind of an asshole, that's me every day, maybe it's because I have nobody to talk to maybe it's because I'm all alone she says she can't wait to see me suffer and alone but I'm already there I don't have a friend I don't have a family member and I don't have a partner, and well my daughter is just to innocent to ever talk to or see her daddy like that, but man does it hurt, it feels like a pounding pain in my chest with the weight of a bus on top of it like a mad man beating a drum in a cave, and by golly I don't know what to do anymore I feel like all I do is make mistakes after mistake after mistake , when does it ever end do I ever get to be happy and enjoy life or will there always be something I suffer for, I suppose I'll never really know until the end which is why a barrel in the mouth has sounded better and better, maybe everyone would be better off without me maybe I am the problem they say if everyone else is a problem then it's probably you, so why do I keep trying, well unfortunately I could feel the pain my toddler would have even though she'd probably forget me in her young age, if I didn't have her I wouldn't be here though because it's so hard fighting through life for everything you have and everything you gain to be kicked back down 4 steps after completing 2 my whole life everyone has told me I was nothing maybe I've subconsciously become nothing because of everyone says it has to be true especially when it's said by those that say they love me wouldn't you want to build someone up not tear them down and then be irritate when they feel like they are the lowest of the low and don't want to keep trying...... Yet here I am again as I will always be because maybe .just a coward that's to afraid to do what is necessary....

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anonymous Other June 11, 2025 at 9:12 pm 0 0