hopeless

so idk. i dont like how my brother keeps on mentioning bout tuition fees. i get it. my dad's the sole funder for our education. after a whole gap year I figured some shit out and developed some skills. i matured to some extent while most of my friends were in uni. after so many fucking problems I've been blessed and got uni offers. i got in for med schools in the EU. its already cheap enough compared to going to the US where my brother is studying. he says to get scholarship offer which okay fine ill do it. i would have to work hard asf and find a way to secure. my offer deadlines were close by and my brother decided to mention to do MORE FUCKING RESEARCH IN SEARCH OF CHEAPER UNIS. how much more can I do???i even chose the cheapest options from my choices/offers. i already feel so fucking guilty enough having to study even and spending my dads money while he's funding for my brother. and my parents don't understand my fuckin emotions and thinking. they just paint a picture in their head and fix to that and make a judgement when that's not it. this just makes me the fucking villain or the stupid lil ungrateful child. that's not it. why cant no one understand me no matter what I say???? i don't get it. everytime I think things getting better and I steady my fucking self bc I guess I'm not allowed to cry or be remotely angry - it just crumbles. sometimes I wish I wasn't even here. maybe they'd be allllll better off

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fml Home April 28, 2024 at 9:41 am 0 0