So i dont even know where to start, I'm just so confused right now, like I want to comeplete my homework but ive been to busy looking at myself in the mirror it is fucking weird. I think its becuse i am very insecure with the way i look, yet still thankful so I just stare like a creep, and then get all depresso so i go on tik tok yes tik tok, which makes me procrastinate even more. Once i realise i should complete my tasks i end up panicking because i have less time to finish it, so then i start thinking about how i can complete this, by finishing some on the way to school, recess, instead OF JUST DOING IT. which makes me so frustrated with myself. I also recently just went back to school after a two month holiday, so my sleep schedule is fucked, i sleep at 4pm, and wake at 1am. ITS SO WEIRD AND I HATE IT. ou i also have a job interview coming up this afternoon but im very non enthusiastic about it, because i've been rejected so man times and especially since im only 17, its a waiting job btw, i hate fast food. I aint giving up but its just so hard. What else, i like this guy who doesn't even like me LMAO, and our convos get real awkward, and he likes my friend but she doesnt like im, and i don't want to tell her because shes the type to start flirting with him if i tell her. I really want to end the relationship but i cant idk why. We always argue. She never gave me compliments so i stopped giving her them. I am so confused. Like i'm procrastinating by doing this. I also imagine situations with people i like, as if they're real. I have been working out for a month, now which helps a lot. My family is broke, so its embarrassing going to school with no food, or second hand bags, pencil cases, encils, not showing up with most of my textbooks, crusty ass shoes. so i really focus on my appearance and hygiene to subside it. I feel like i'm a dreamer, who is lazy. not proud btw. and ahhhh idk. i'm so tired. i know most m friends find me to be a broke, annoying bitch, but i don't care a lot because i dislike them, beside my guy friends, they chill. I also find myself to be ugly but pretty at the sametime it is weird. I also act like a completely different person to my girl friends, because our humour isn't the same besides a few, like mines dark oe witty and theirs is talking about hair on their legs. You may be like but ur being a hypocrite because don u look at yourself in the mirror for a long time. Yeah i do, but i don't talk about it in public because i feel as though this is a thing for ur home life not to be annoying. My older brother though is such a roleodel, and i broke so many of his stuff, but like i cant repay him because i don't have a job (which i hate it makes me feel like shit a lot)so everyday i feel like a scumbag, because he always provides me and my other siblings with food, he helps pay most of rent, everything. Whereas my older sister is useless and being a gold digger, not contributing to the 8 rabbits she brought home, making my mum have to pay for more shit.And she is very selfish and obsessed with being skinny It hell same with my dad he is greedy asf and is mentally ill (im pretty sure because he was abused when he was younger and all that by his father and useless mother, who let all her children get beat with metal poles and that) he is very awkward too. i could go on and on about my family but bruvs im just so lazy and imma fix it, might not be this week but i will someday soon. my laziness needs to stop.
12 years later... so guys im homeless
nah jk jk...
anonymousOther January 29, 2020 at 12:15 pm00