Ghosting my EX-gf

I am tired of dating a chick who acts like a spoiled, entitled, stuck-up princess who think she deserves to be constantly praised and worshiped, and for me to gravel at her feet, and forever keep proving I deserve her, or should chase her, even though we've been together for nearly eight years now!

I've come to the conclusion she has kept me around for what she thinks I can do for her, and not in a relationship or loving way, but in a slave, maid, cook, ATM, free babysitter/nanny, errand-runner, pet-care taker, and personal shopper way. She never says thank you, never appreciates anything. Nothing is ever enough, or it is too much. It is never the right flavor, or color, or brand. Or I paid too much, or not enough, or didn't get it from the right place. If I dare buy her a thing from Walmart and she finds out, she refuses to use it.

She expects every second of my time when I am not working to be around her. I better be there afterwork, on weekends. on my day's off. If I call in sick, she is calling me telling me that SHE is sick, or the kid's are, and "I don't have anyone to come over and do this and that and this.." and if I tell her I am DEATHLY ill in bed, or in pain (I have an infected diabetic foot ulcer and can barely walk at the moment, going to wound care twice a week for it) then it is, "That's fine,. I figured you wouldn't help. No one does anything for me. It is okay. I will figure it out. I always do." in this passive-aggressive tone. Then acts snotty, arrogant, and dismissive to me for the rest of the week. And the nerve to say I do "nothing" for her, when I haven't had a full day to myself, with my family, with my dog, since we met EIGHT years ago, and not because I am spending it WITH her. Because I am spending doing things FOR her, mostly tending to her three, very poorly behaved, petulant rude children who she has both infantilized, while at the same time, allows to have adult privileges with none of the adult responsibility and expects the world to accommodate them fully. Her parenting philosophy is, "I don't believe in rules, and I don't do consequences. They are children, and yes, they are wild, but wild children are happy children, and that is all that matters. If adults get offended over that, too bad. They are adults and should be able to deal with that!"

Everything in her life is her ex-husband's fault too. She can't work because of him. Can't clean her house because of him. Can't be away from her children because of him. Has anxiety (which she doesn't) because of him, on and on. I believed her at first, then I got to know the guy, and it is entirely the other way around!

When we go to her family's cabin, she refuses to sleep in the same room with me. She goes upstairs, and leaves me downstairs. She disappears in the morning before I wake up, and comes back late, then goes and showers, watches TV, and goes to sleep. We hardly see one another. We went up one week for an entire week during memorial weekend, and she wouldn't even be in the same room with me. She will go to a different room. Get up and move to another couch. Act like she doesn't want me there. So, when I say I am going to pack up and get going, then it is, "That's fine. I figured you would. You hate it here anyway."

So, I tell her that I will stay then! Then, she lets out a big sigh and rolls her eyes and leans as far away as she can from or gets up and moves and and looks annoyed.

In fact, the only reason I go is because when I am invited I CANNOT say no, because then it is the same mind game. "That is fine. I figured. You never want to."

This is a constant theme in our relationship. And the only way I can describe it, is as I stated A mind game! She dumps her kids on me. Dumps her chores on me. Dumps the expenses on me. And leaves. Our sex life is almost null. I also found out recently that she has been cheating on with this OLD fuckin' guy in his late 50's for EIGHT years now!!! I saw the sex texts on her phone, and scrolled through them, where they were discussing things they did in the past and how great it was, and things they plan to do in the future. There were texts about how she "got me" to watch the kids telling me sh was going to some meeting at her church, or some event with her friends, but she was at his house...while I was watching HER kids, she was fucking him! She goes on and on about how she "hates this relationship"
Her response when I called her out? "They were a joke! I was being funny! I can't even joke with my friends now??" then continued to gaslight me about looking at her phone. IDGAF if I was looking at her phone. Whatever I did was negated by HER cheating.

So, now, she decided she wants to go to Coachella. For no fuckin reason at all. She never wanted to, but saw some YouTube video and wants to go. Two years ago it was some "Rainbow Festival" shit in Colorado. Now it is Coachella.

Coachella is hella expensive. Parking alone costs literally THOUSANDS of dollars. JUST to park, then stand in line for HOURS with no water or bathroom just to get checked in. Coachella is a hot, balmy, filthy, smelly, SHIT-filled chaotic mess. It is overpriced for food, for a bottle of water. For people to sleep in tents that feel like they are baking in ovens, crawling with flies and desert creatures. It doesn't even look fun, and the music isn't worth it. But suddenly, SHE decided she wants to go because, "I love that stuff!"

So what does that mean? That means she is expecting ME to come up with the THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of dollars to pay for it. She doesn't outright ask, but she mopes around, whimpers, whines, gets this butthurt sour face, like her whole life is just soooooooooo unfair because she can't go, and then it is, "Nothing ever works out for me" and "I never get to do what I want. I am just stuck being a mother and that's it." and "I'll never be able to do anything, I guess I just have to sit at home."

Then it is, "It isn't that much money...not to me." (she comes from a family, that aren't rich, but are upper middle-class, and completely pampered her, her entire life. Every car she's ever owned they bought. They pay for her rent. Paid for her college that she never finished and is now in her early-forties still trying to finish and they are paying. They have sent her anywhere she wanted to visit. Bought her horses she never rode. Dogs she didn't care for. And now she still expects that)

So, she just says, "You wouldn't want to go anyway" I told her, that , No I wouldn't go, but she can go. And then she just shrugs, and rolls her eyes, "You never want to do anything!"

Keep in mind. I have gone EVERY single place she has ever wanted to go, taken her to anything she wanted to see, and PAID for it each time. And for her kids and friends as well! I told her that even if I wanted to go to Coachella, I don't have that type of money. I can't miss work. And my health issues I am battling aren't ideal for that! Then she sits there, "I have health stuff too, people with worse problems than you have go and do that stuff..." and then, "But whatever, I won't be able to go anyway. I have to use my money to take care of my kids. You don't know what that is like, since you don't have kids. Your money is yours to do whatever with."

That line has officially STOPPED working on me. I no longer let her guilt me into spending ALL my money, and convincing me that because I don't have kids, nothing in my life is important or relevant, not even my own bills or rent! Then, she just kept glancing at me, like I was going to say I'll come up with a way. I got quiet, said nothing, and just started doom scrolling. After awhile she finally said, "It isn't for like, nearly a whole year..." I shrugged and said, "Yeah, I know."

Then she rolled her eyes, "I guess I could figure out a way to go..." I said nothing. And then she added, "I can go by myself I guess.."

I said nothing.

And keep in mind, she doesn't just do this to me. She got all butthurt and catty and hateful over a friend of hers who said that she and her family couldn't make it to the cabin one weekend. My gf goes EVERY single weekend in the Summer, to the point it has become a dreadful chore, it feels like work. It take so much effort to pack up, go to the store, stock up on shit, fill up, pack up things, drive for two and half hours, unload, drag everything in, turn on the electricity and water, just to break it all down and leave two days later. EVERY.WEEKEND.

It stopped being fun YEARS ago, but she "loves it" so everyone is expected to go. So, she invited her friends up two weekends in a row. After that, they got burned out on it. People have a life. They have other things going on. Other things they have to and want to do. or maybe they just don't FEEL like going AGAIN to the cabin, every weekend.

Her friend told her that they had sports stuff going on with their kids that weekend. She didn't care, she expected them, after a long ass day in the hot summer sun of sports stuff, to pack up and then drive to the cabin, no matter how late it was. They obviously made it clear they weren't. So, the whole week, "No one wants to do anything. That is so dumb they won't come up. So what if their kids have that stuff going on. They came come up after. I've taken my kids to things and then we come to the cabin after that. They could if they wanted to." and then "No one ever wants to be around me."

I told her that they have been there nearly every weekend, and probably just don't want to anymore for awhile. Then it is, "Well, I think it is stupid when people don't want to do anything. We live in Colorado, and people are supposed to do that stuff. If not , why even live here? That is so dumb!" Like she was legit, ANGRY at them

So now, it is the Coachella shit. I won't go. I won't figure out how to pay for it. So, she is sighing and glaring, and dirty looks at me, and side eyes, and moving away from me when I get close. Sitting around with a frowny face like her life is over and she doesn't know how she's going to survive. Carrying on under her breath about, "Why even be alive if you don't do stuff?" and "I never understand people who don't want to do things."

She uses the word "people" when she doesn't want to use "you" or your name. It is, "I don't know why people don't want to go do anything" when clearly, she is talking about me, or her friends.

So today, I decided I am selling my old Jeep, I want to buy a new car. First off, she chastised me about that, and it was "I wish I could get a new car." and "I wish I could just sell my stuff, but I can't, I have kids...so I have to keep the car I have" and "I don't get to do fun things, like buy Jeeps. I have to have an adult car." and then she added how, "If you sell the Jeep you're going to have enough that you could at least pay for some of Coachella if you went, if you save that money and just drive your Mom's car instead of buy a new one." (My mom can't drive anymore due to vision problems, so keeps her car at my house for registration purposes because it is cheaper since I live in the county)

Well, I don't want to drive my Mom's little car, AND my mom didn't say I could just free-for-all take over her car! But my Jeep isn't an "adult car" according to my GF.

I told her I wasn't using that money for Coachella, or any event, or anything else BUT towards a new car. Then , it was more sulking, pouting, exhaling heavily out of her nose, face turning red, and then ignoring me and talking down to me. Adding, "I wish I could just hang onto my money for a car. I can't do that, I have kids."

I haven't talked to her now for over a week. This is my final straw with her, and I let her know. She's been flooding my inbox .Not with anything about losing me, or how much she loves me, or about why she wants to fix our relationship, or is sorry for her behavior...nope, nothing like that. All stuff about, how "I really don't have anyone to help me now!" and "What am I supposed to do about my kids when I need a break?" and 'What if I have an appointment or something comes up, who is going to watch the kids now?" and "I will have to pay a babysitter and I can't do that!" and "I have this and that and this event coming up for church, and who is going to watch the kids and my house and feed my pets while I am gone now???"

Which btw, I didn't even know she had those events, seminars and church camp thing coming up, she never told me, and never asked me if I'd watch the kids. She just ASSUMED I was going to do it. And at the last minute, which she got very used to.

Now the messages are her going on about how much she had to pay some lady to watch her kids, and "I can't keep doing that...I don't have the money for that!" and "Are you going to answer me?" and "Are you going to watch them at the end of August while I am at the church retreat for a week?" and "If you don't, I have no one. My parents won't do it! I will have to cancel going and I already paid for my room!"

It tells me that I was nothing but a utility for her throughout our entire relationship! And that is all I need to know to end it. I am ghosting her. The way she has ghosted me for days on end in the past while she cheated on me. She'll figure out and IDGAF about what plans are fucked up now.

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Oak artist Relationships August 04, 2025 at 5:23 pm 0 0