Stop telling me to learn your stupid social norms.
I don't actively learn social norms because I don't feel the need to live within your society by speaking your language. There are many languages you find socially acceptable so Aspergerese should be cool too right?
I also find your language highly unspeakable and quite literally false.
I know neurotypicals (NTs) love to build abstract webs made up of all the things they share, they think in the way the alpha males and the tribe wants them to think and they act in the way their tribe considers most appropriate. Inculcating social codes and norms to helpless children who are not yet developed enough to think independently is completely okay for them, they even suggest it at conferences. NTs are perfectly okay with being slaves to the web they call culture, common sense and yep, social norms.
You know, I prefer leaving you to your social staged plays where every word you speak has a different meaning in a different context and situation than becoming an actor in your deceiving plays myself. That's how I would describe many Aspies I have met: We are spectators who laugh and smile when we look at your play, watching with keen interest as we try to understand why you're so busy playing roles while you could actually just drop everything and walk out.
Most NTs are nothing but actors all playing a role without questioning the playwright who learn by imitating instead of thinking. They built a system of beliefs around their deceiving tricks and call it the normality, the standard any human should follow as its paradigms of mutual imitation are inescapable. NTs want you to learn their language and their standards because that's how the old yakedy yaks survived in order to dance around the campfire another day (NOT!)
Behind all their make believe, NTs built their world around socializing instead of learning, the NT shamans (psychologists) and social zealots (sociologists) crafted it and explained it in such way that it makes our neurological differences actually seem dysfunctional and detrimental, and don't realize it is only detrimental because they treat their social dictionary as the Bible without giving us our space. Thanks to these people we now have en masse inculcation of standards, models and norms from a very young age which makes the NTs feel even more cuddled in their social nirvana built on mutual deception, imitation and weakness. After all, they're not the ‘wrong’ ones, we are. (if only they knew)
You can't fit in? You're stupid, and being rejected makes you even dumber as you don't think in the way the web does. Everyone must be part of your web of word play, social lies and contextual tyranny.
NTs pride themselves of their social learning based on mirroring and imitation of other hairless apes. I prefer keeping my place as a spectator of this giant play the NTs pride themselves for taking place in and learn not by imitating, but by observing, reflecting and coming to my own conclusions.
The fact that the social zealots and the shamans who speak for NTs criticize us for being different and cuddle them for literally learning by imitation of the standards is something that will forever elude me.
I don't learn social norms because they're ridiculous and useless. I don't need to learn killing people or stealing from others is bad because I don't want to do it. Not because there's a law telling me not to and then doing it as soon as the alpha males are not looking.
anonymousOther February 20, 2021 at 9:36 am10
im autistic as well. but i come to the conclusion that i am superior to normal people in every way possible. while normal people are learning social skills, im learning survival skills and trade skills that will help me survive. there was a study 5 years ago that people with autism were looked at as the next step of human evolution. and normal people are afraid that our kind are gonna replace them. they should be scared. anonymous 4 years ago
I am autistic and agree with the OP and the commenter above. I used to mask and really cared about fitting in. Now not only do I realise it is futile but also detrimental to mine and society's health. We are the natural next stage in evolution in an era where technology has replaced face-to-face contact. It's simply biology. We say what we mean. We are honest. We have a strong sense of justice. All things which are lacking in NT's. I am PROUD to be an autistic. NT's need to check themselves and try to be more autistic. Not the other way round. Katie 2 years ago
I agree with OP and the comments above. In fact, I actually think autistic people are the most discriminated group, at least in America. From Autism Speaks being the largest organization that supposedly represents us, to autism awareness rather than acceptance being the norm (evidenced by the puzzle pieces and color blue appearing everywhere on April), to ABA being the #1 recommended treatment, to the vast misinformation and I’m not just talking about the false link to vaccines. Criticisms around neurodiversity are rampant online, always reiterating the same tired tropes such as that “neurodiversity minimizes the struggles autism brings” or “it excludes those with severe autism.” I cannot stress enough how fucking sick I am of hearing this. No, neurodiversity does not ignore people with more serious disabilities. In fact, it acknowledges autism being on a spectrum from mild to severe. I understand that some autists have problems with daily life, not everyone sees it as a gift, and good treatments can help but too often these discussions about “severe autism” devolve into parents behaving like martyrs and blaming neurodiversity on their troubles which makes it hard to take seriously. Anti-neurodiversity zealots constantly post on reddit (particularly on r/ABA, r/spicyautism, r/CMV and r/justunsubbed) or write articles that sometimes even appear on mainstream media outlets such as Washington Post and Psychology Today (one example is Amy Lutz, possibly one of the most rabidly anti-neurodiversity authors i’ve ever seen.) I even found an article titled “Neurodiversity is dead. Now what?” on Mad in America, the last place I would think such a story would be published and my god the comment section is a mess. And do not get me started on this “cassandra syndrome” crap. For those of you who don’t know, a psychologist named Maxine Aston created a diagnostic label, “cassandra affection deprivation disorder” or CADD. This is, according to her, a type of psychological trauma affecting women who are in relationships with asperger men. This diagnostic label became popular among an online community of women who often write in forums (such as theneurotypical.com and heartlessaspergers.com and also found such a thread on rantrampage) that their ASD partners abused them. I stumbled upon this by accident when researching autism and relationships. I even found an article on Psychcentral about it. The rants these extremists go on about autism are on a whole other level of bigotry. There’s probably more types of anti-autism hate that I don’t know about. And yet, even though I identify myself as left-leaning, a lot of leftists have little to no awareness about this issue, or even act ableist themselves. Despite advocating civil rights for other marginalized groups (BIPOC, women, LGBTQ+, immigrant, etc) which I support, they often exclude autistic people. On the rare occasions they do raise awareness, the focus is only on the more obvious hate crimes rather than the more subtle microaggressions that impact us daily. A lot of otherwise progressive activists tend to hold regressive views about autism or show indifference on the matter which is ironic given their dislike for neutrality in times of injustice. My parents are an example. They’re mostly liberal but when it comes to autism, their beliefs regarding it are staunchly conservative. My dad is more blunt, viewing my aspergers as a disease that needs cure while my mom is more subtle, claiming that it’s a “part of diveristy and should be celebrated” while her actions show otherwise from celebrating autism awareness to getting advice from these sketchy parenting facebook groups while ignoring autistic voices, to signing me up for this shitty ABA service where they: -teach me skills I already know such as food safety and calling a business. -teach me useless social norms such as eye contact and correcting voice tone. -baby-talk me. -do a terrible job at teaching me otherwise useful skills such as getting a driver’s permit or applying for college. All they do is tell me to look it up online like no shit sherlock. -make me practice mindfulness activities that don’t work. Sometimes the therapsists make me do them simply because they feel like it. -have a lesson where they encourage me to do and i quote “something that risks me looking bad.” Seriously? You want me to do things that could risk me getting ridiculed in public, especially since I already get harassed for being autistic? Do they not realize how fucked up that is? -judge my every decision they don’t approve of as “unhealthy avoidance” (seriously, the term “avoidance” has just become another stupid pop psychology buzzword). -encourage me to vent whenever i’m feeling down (which unsurprisingly is all the time) but then call my rants “black and white thinking.” No, I don’t literally want to hide in my house forever. This is particularly frustrating because one of my ABA lessons was on figurative language and yet these incompetent therapists either don’t know a hyperbole when they see one or are playing dumb. And that’s not all they do. Also, my parents overall are emotionally abusive. They act kind in public but behind closed doors are freaks. They yell, gaslight, and deny all the time. I have lost all hope for autism becoming more widely accepted. Fuck you to my parents, ABA therpaists, all of those online imbecilles who talk shit about autism, and even to psychiatry. Honestly, psychiatry was a mistake. Who’s brilliant idea was it to make a “science” that dictates what’s normal and not? The diagnoses are all added, removed, and changed in the DSM based on populr vote which in turn is influenced by social norms and legal matters rather than evidence. Let’s not forget that at one point, drapetomania, hysteria, and homosexuality were all mental illnesses. Now we have autsim. The criteria required to diagnose any mental illness is a mess, mental health awareness campaigns have achieved little in reducing stigma, suicide hotlines like 988 are garbage, suicide is still seen as socially unacceptable despite the reasons for why it’s supposedly bad (always a sign of mental illness, it’s selfish, life is sacred, your loved ones will be devastated, all problems are temporary, the supposed contagion effect) are mere BS, psychiatry places an overemphasis on personal responsibility rather than challenging systemic issues (such as racism and climate change) as a way to improve mental health health, therapies like CBT really are gaslighting and you can’t convince me otherwise and criticizing psychiatry and psychology is seen as taboo. Seriously, it seems like everyone is always insisting you should go to therapy no matter the problem and if you don’t, you’re either self-sabotaging or haven’t found a good fit yet and should just keep trying. They claim that there’s a stigma against therpay but given how wildly overpromoted therapy is and that any criticism (which there isn’t much to begin with) no matter how legitimate is, gets called out harshly, this so called therpay stigma sounds like a batshit conspiracy theory. At the end of the day, the mental health industry is just another inherently corrupt system in our society much like the police force. I don’t care if there are good therapists, they chose to be a part of this profession and have the choice to keep the status quo, challenge it, or leave it. I know this rant was long and that it went from being about autism to something else but i just wanted to give my two cents. anonymous 1 month ago
3 Rant Comments
anonymous 4 years ago
Katie 2 years ago
anonymous 1 month ago