Autism

I hate the fact that i have high functioning autism and On top of that i feel i have had nothing but considerable bad luck all my life. It doesnt help that my autism holds me back in most situations. Even though my vocal coach and manager sees it as a positive thing because i can learn songs really quick and she sees it as an empowerment that people will admire me more for what i do on stage because i have this condition. sorry but i dont see it like this. They want someone who is commercial and can make them money..they dont want someone who comes across as that little bit different. I am Someone who is very bubbly, forward and Over the top..they want someone who is stereotypical commercial and can sell records. On top of this i just feel that it doesnt matter what i do or how hard i work towards my goals all i ever get is sheer bad luck. My brother is also autistic plays the piano and he has other learning difficulties as well and yet he has had a better life and better luck then me. Atleast he has regular paid gigs at the local spiritual church as the church organist. when i am 33 years old now and am struggling to even maintain a regular gig on the circuit. Plus had a gig last night and because of storm bert hardly anyone showed up being the weather being so bad. I am trying so hard to just to get that lucky break and instead there happens to be a fucking storm on the one night i am performing and i am singing to an empty room of about 6 people. Was a real dissappintment yet again thats all i seem to get in my life. I do appreciate all the work my vocal coach and manager arr putting into this helping me getting business cards done, recording work done to make a demo and she has doing her hardest to promote me to get me started on the music circuit for next year. So out of respect and gratitude for her i wont give up. But personally i am just deflated and tired of having one set back after another, and a life of nothing but disappointments. Well all i van say is prove me wrong then i might have a more positive outlook..i wasnt always pessimistic but when you have one bad thing after anothrr happen to you in a row it becomes the norm..

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Anonymous Other November 24, 2024 at 11:14 am 0 0