An open letter to this ridiculous bitch

Dear fucking ridiculous bitch,

I wish upon this occasion to congratulate you for doing what I previously thought was the impossible. I thought there was no way I could be made to like this job any less than I already did. I really thought it was already at 0. But somehow, you manage to find a property in it that I formerly liked and managed to destroy it. I guess that only makes sense since. I never realized what I most liked in ANY job was you not being there, until I knew you actually existed.

This job already sucks so much, I don't know how I've hung onto it for this long without going nuts. The company sucks. We're putting an alright product into the world, but that's about all I can say for it. I have seen another company this poorly organized, but it was about to go under and nobody could be bothered to do anything about that, because everybody knew the place was going under, and we all needed to find other jobs, so loosely speaking, to hell with it. This place seems to have been limping along like this since it first started, which is impressive because this has been going on for somewhere around twenty years. The total lack of organization is not something that would allow much of any job to be enjoyable. That alone would just about kill it, even if I enjoyed my basic responsibilities in a place. Then there's the fact that I have been charged with the most absolute bullshit kind of work there is, and every time there's a new form of bullshit hitting the place that could possibly be pushed off onto me, that's where it goes. Ah, but then there is you.

First of all, you are the most egotistical little woman I have ever seen in my life. When I see people with attitudes like yours, I usually do everything in my power to stay away. Unfortunately, I got fucked into doing this job before I knew who you were or what I was going to be dealing with.

Then there is your martyr complex. I have been trapped in this job for over a decade and you haven't stopped complaining about how much there is for you to do do in that entire time. You really seem convinced that you run the whole place. First off, let me tell you, you don't. If you're so very stressed out, you can take a deep breath because you are not doing everything in the place. If you were, it's not like it would be anything to be proud of anyway, because like I said, the place is a shit show. My mom always used to say every job is a self portrait of person who did it, which among other things I take to mean, you should be careful what you try to take credit for. But you're not doing everything. Additionally, I'm sorry to hear you have things to do at work, which is basically the gist of your big martyrdom complaint, but I also have things to do at work, including dealing with you. You'll notice I also work longer hours than you do. It's not a competition. I wish I worked fewer hours like you do, and that's part of my objective actually. The fact remains, however, that I have at least as much to do as you and I think it's safe to say there's a hell of a lot more of it. Complaining about that to me is like somebody with a bad pimple complaining to a stage four cancer patient that life is too hard. We would have to be very close friends before I gave a damn, and we are not.

Then, there's the fact that you have no respect for my time off. Even though I work longer hours than you do, we don't have perfectly overlapping schedules during your hours. For all the hours I work, I still do not work seven days a week. You may email me at anytime of any day, day or night, because that is a very specifically extemporaneous medium. You email me when you think of something and I will email you back when I have the time. But the calling and the texting bullshit should be happening during restricted hours and on restricted days. Unless something is literally on fire that is of personal interest to me, I don't want to hear about anything after five in the evening or before noon, even if I am working on site outside of those hours, and I don't want to hear anything from you on my day off. Right there, between noon and 5 six days a week, are thirty hours a week when you could theoretically be bothering me with whatever bullshit you come up with. Yes, everybody knows I work from home at weird hours, but those are the hours of my choosing, and they are none of anybody else's damn business. It doesn't mean I am available to be bothered twenty four hours a day, seven days a damn week.

This brings me to the double standard crap. The expectation seems to be that anybody else can communicate with me by absolutely any means at absolutely any time for absolutely any purpose and I'm just supposed to figure it all out, plus ultimately nobody has to communicate anything to me and I either have to chase around and ask people, or I'm supposed to guess. However, as time goes on, the expectation seems to be that I am supposed to directly report to you in your chosen fashion if I so much as cough. I think it's safe to say you have a reasonably important role in the company, yes, but that doesn't mean you are above me in any kind of hierarchy. I have never once been told that I am to report to you. I have, on the other hand been told that if I need something, you're the person to call on, so it actually sounds to me like you might well be working under me. I'd rather have it an even thing, I've never been big on hierarchies, but if you're not accepting my implicit invitation to appeared a mutually respectful colleague relationship after all this time, and if you need for one of us to be the big boss over the other, I can tell you who's gonna be the boss here and it's not going to be you.

Listen bitch, you will not micromanage me. I will be managing YOU. You don't know how my job works, so you certainly don't control it. Moreover, it would probably be wise to be a little more careful.What you put in writing over text. I don't think the boss would agree with you that you are running the place. If you need to be some kind of a little tin god in your own mind to bolster your ego that's up to you, but neither one of us built this place, it functioned for years without either one of us, and if you were gone tomorrow, we'd keep right on chugging along. Frankly, we'd all be a lot happier that way. You are 100% replaceable, probably at much lower wages. Moreover, you have absolutely no idea how many times you've nearly been replaced just because the boss is almost as fed up with you as I am. For some reason, people seem to think I'm both deaf and stupid, and so they just say whatever the fuck they want around me, trusting that I will not react and it will never get around. By and large, they are right, but I understand the situation much more clearly than most people do, including yourself. You're not the big bad irreplaceable ladyboss you think you are. You're a tiny shrill, irritating woman that we are all tired of dealing with, and you will not be in control of my life in or out of the office. I feel i've gotten dangerously close to establishing my evil genius origin story as a matter of fact, and if you keep this up i wouldn't be the least bit surprised if a year from now.You were ranting with the same way about me, but didn't know what the hell to do about it because I had taken over your life to stop you from further screwing up mine.

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anonymous Work October 25, 2024 at 5:48 am 0 0