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One fucking reason

One fucking reason

Give me one fucking reason to live. I'm the stupidest person on the planet (or at least close to it). I screw up every single thing. I scratched my car a week ago and didn't even notice. I fail every single assignment. I can't keep a friend for more than a day or two. I don't know how to spell anything, much less do any math to save my life. I can't remember to do basic chores or anything simple. I can't even fucking ask for anything. I can't get birth control because I'm too scared too. I can barely even carry anything more than a feather, and I'm not even fat. Just a useless mess of nothing who has breakdowns every day in my room with no one to confide it that cuts myself in silence. No one can even understand because I'm too fucking dumb. All people ever say is "no your smart", and then ignore the every single fact of I'M FAILING EVERYTHING. I'm failing fucking life itself. I do nothing but fucking cry and I've tried to change and I can't. I make lists; I set times; I write everything down on a white board. It's to the point that my punishments for myself are not even allowing myself to take a fucking break or eat food because I don't deserve to eat or sleep. Go crazy or whatever, but I'm so far behind on work because I zone out into the realm of nothingness because I'm too useless to know whats going on in the world around me. I have no reason to live. I can't function in society properly. I can't think properly. I don't want to be subject to 80 more years of this fucking useless existence just to go to a job that I hate all day, then come home to nothing but more house work, then sleep, and repeat. I see zero point in living a boring hopeless meaningless life. Nothing seems worth dealing with hundreds of thousands of hours in unhappiness.
anonymous Other September 22, 2022 at 7:09 pm 0
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God, or some other magical revelation ...will cause you to reveal to yourself the joys of just being. The best way to get to a new tomorrow could involve not dragging a bag of yesterdays with you. Have fun, it is the same price. All the best on your journey.
Pilgrim 2 years ago
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