My dad is in his mid 60s. I'm in my early 30s. He was married to my mom for about 30 years, and then roughly 3 years ago seemingly out of the blue, left her. No one saw it coming, least of all her. All that is another rant, though.
He ended up immediately getting with this woman my sister's age (meaning wasn't even 40 yet). Earlier this year they tell us she's pregnant. So in my 30s I get to suddenly be a big brother.
I don't want to be. I'm not jealous of the kid, honestly; my dad and I were never particularly close. Even before this announcement I never fought for his attention. I think it's just that I'm still so mad at him for what he did to my mom, stranding her like that at 70 yrs old, in her case. She lost so much. We all lost so much. Our family essentially crumbled from this in so many ways.
He has an 18 year old grandchild. Literally. A granddaughter eighteen years older than now his youngest child, born two months or something ago. Yeah, that's not fucking weird.
He wants me to meet the kid but I don't want to. I'm too angry over all of this. Not at the kid, but at the circumstances. For how shitty he was to my mom, my sisters, me, all of our friends, literally everyone during the divorce.
And I don't really know his girlfriend. It's been a few years now, yeah, but we've never been invited to meet her family or really do anything with them. So it's just like a stranger my sister's age who happens to live with them. In a very sparsely decorated huge house that used to be my mom's, filled with amazing furniture and art and just. Life.
Plus he's going on about how he wants me to be in this kid's life because due to him already being 68, he won't be alive for most of its life. What a thought. So basically he wants to saddle me as some pseudo-parental figure in this kid's life when I've made it ABUNDANTLY clear in my life that I want nothing to do with raising kids. Ever. Not my thing. Nope. Don't like babies, don't like kids, don't want that responsibility or that life. Ever.
So no. I don't want to meet this kid. I don't want to feel the simmering rage I do about all this, not around a kid who otherwise is innocent. And I don't want to pretend to care to be some parental figure in its life.
Thing is, how the fuck do I tell this to him without ruining what relationship we still had left? Fuck.
anonymousHome September 23, 2022 at 4:45 pm20