MY WORLD FEELS LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO COLLAPSE

I feel like I'm about to explode, internally. My parents, *cough cough* mostly dad *cough cough* have VERY high expectations for me. 100% in all subjects at school, 100% accuracy on all tests, 100% skill in sports. It's like they don't even know me! And that feeling just wants to make me scream! I've tried telling them over and over again, but instead of anger, I just burst in tears. I'm one of those people who can't get their words right when trying to express their bottled up feelings to someone, like I've got a huge rock jammed in my throat whenever I speak. If I cross the line, I'll be on my bottom out on the streets with no association to my family whatsoever. They always keep comparing me to other people, always saying "Every has something they're good at, except YOU" or like "What are you going to do in life? You're absolutely useless" and I just shut my stupid mouth up and sit there like the obedient child they want, the obedient child they want but doesn't and never will exist. It really just starts to make me more and more insecure. Nowadays they also started body shaming me? I just keep on hearing "Oh, you're so skinny, you need to eat more" and "Wow, I wish you could go back to when you were 5, you looked perfect back then." And I literally can't do anything about. I know they just want the best for me and I appreciate that, I really do, but I can't wait for the moment when they realize the insecurities and pressure they brought onto me so I could be the "perfect golden child" just so they could brag about how far they brought me to other people and family. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone and suffocating, like there is no one else to share this pain with me. If you made it this far, I'm really glad you could listen to me rant about things that probably don't relate to you whatsoever, but I just really needed someone to listen to MY part of the story.

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Silenced Girl Home November 29, 2025 at 12:56 am 2 0