Life sucks

I thought college was the place where you find your people. Everyone told me it will be the best time of my life. So why am I sitting in my dorm room holding back tears so my insane, pathological liar of a roommate doesn't question me? I was so excited to come back to school. I had just started talking to a boy who I was starting to like, and I thought he liked me too. He called me pretty, talented, and amazing. I felt on top of the world. People saw I was happier, and that was after a meh break where I saw none of my friends and got in a car crash. The guy told me he wasn't in the right headspace for a relationship and wanted to be friends, which I was completely fine with. He only recently got out of a relationship recently that did not end well, and I got out of a very toxic relationship 7 months ago. We kept talking and I was so excited to finally hang out with him in person, and yesterday I finally did. I ran into him and his HS friend and we all went to the grocery store. He spent a lot of the time talking to her. Thoughts filled my mind, is he ignoring me, is he awkward, is it my awkwardness, am I thinking too much about it (yes). Then, something triggered me from my previous relationship last night and I did not know what to do, so I messaged him. He said he was busy. And now he stopped responding to my messages. I don't even care about dating him, I just don't want to lose him as a friend. I only have one other friend on campus, since two others transferred out, and most of the time she's with her boyfriend and I don't want to always be a third wheel.

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anonymous Other January 17, 2022 at 5:22 pm 3 0