I really don t look decent

Ok, the thing is, whenever I type in the keywords, " I feel ugly " or " I look ugly " videos on the internet, I want to find someone who doesn't look good. I just want to feel like there's someone else as ugly as me too. I don't know. I just want to look good. You see , these videos that I find , about people feeling "ugly", the thing is that they don't. Okay, it's not that I'm saying they look super great and I look super bad, but it's just that they look DECENT. Like , they're insecure about them not having full eyebrows or lips that are too big. Or something. But one second into the video and all I see is a very decent , pretty average human being that DOES NOT look ugly. But I am. I just don't look DECENT. My whole face itself already looks just average, leaning mostly towards bad , honestly, but then God just HAD to add in my BIGGEST insecurity. My genetic fucking eye bags. I SWEAR IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.I'm not saying this with almost non-existent eye bags. I've encountered so many people who always post makeup tips on Youtube on how to cover their eye bags, and their eye bags ARE MY DREAM EYE BAGS. It's barely there. I even layered on layers and layers of concealer whenever I meet up with my friends, and whenever we take a group photo, you can STILL SEE MY EYEBAGS. It's like they will forever stick to the under part of my eyes, and they're going to be a pair of FUCKING LIGHT BROWN shadows underneath my eyes. I used to push away the thought of me having a self-esteem issue, but now that I realize how insecure I am EVERY SECOND of my life, I realized how self-insecure I am. I don't know what to say anymore. I just feel like I don't look decent.I look terrible.I'm adopted too.My real parents, I heard,were pretty rebellious , and I don't understand why I still got bad genes passed down to me. Now, all the kids I see who have those kind of parents who don't care and aren't strict have the prettier looks. I keep thinking, of course my real parents have good looks. HOW COME I didn't get them? I DON'T EVEN WANT TO LOOK LIKE AN INSTAGRAM MODEL OR WHATEVER, I just want to look average. Decent. IN PHOTOS. ALL YOU CAN SEE IN PHOTOS ARE MY DUMB EYEBAGS.I have to save up A THOUSAND DOLLARS TO CHANGE IT. OF COURSE I WANT TO. MY EYE BAG STOPPED ME FROM DOING SO MANY THINGS.Recently, there was an outing for my school group where WE ONLY HAD TO PAY $1000 TO GET TO GO TO MELBOURNE ,AUSTRALIA FOR A WEEK. OF COURSE I WANTED TO. THEY PROVIDED US WITH SO MUCH SUBSIDY. BUT GUESS WHAT? MY EYEBAGS, THESE NON-LIVING THINGS, STOPPED ME FROM GOING.I DIDN'T WANT MY CONCEALER TO MELT OFF AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BRING CONCEALER JUST TO LOOK DECENT, AND SO I JUST LOST THE OPPORTUNITY,JUST LIKE THAT, IT FEELS HORRIBLE. I FEEL LIKE DYING AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SPONSOR ME A NON-SURGICAL EYE BAG REMOVAL PLEASE? PLEASE?

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Tanya Body December 07, 2018 at 3:45 am 1 0